Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Anti-intellectualism (2nd opinion)

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edit Anti-intellectualism

Not that the first review wasn't comprehensive enough or anything-I just like second opinions. Now get to it, sharpish! BlueYonder 16:36, 23 July 2008 (UTC)

Noticed that you've been waiting for a while for this to get reviewed and I owe you one, anyway. --mrmonkey72 16:38, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 7.4 Section by Section Breakdown
  • Introduction: 8. While this intro is a little bit listy, which is something you might want to look out for, it pulls it off well enough.
  • Principles: 9. I like this, although I can't honestly say I got the Ann Rice jab... I didn't remember her books being actually easy to read. Or interesting, I guess. But that's just me, I think it's good enough anyway.
  • Medieval Monarchies: 6. This part didn't really make me laugh as much, but I think you have a good opening for humor that you left unexplored, which is delving into how the Church scared away people from learning. It feels like you just sort of skipped over that, which makes it sound a little flat.
  • Puritan Movement: 8. Not bad, but the beginning poem seemed a little bit unnecessary and didn't make me laugh nearly as much as the Bible verse did. The Bible verse is definitely a clever little piece of work, and you get points for that.
  • Bad Russian Reversal: 5. This section broke with the writing before and began to delve into a little bit more randomness. You get a little bit listy and I suggest cutting that down and just keeping your favorite points. Also, while the "oh noes" bit is funny, it just doesn't fit with the rest of the article and this makes it seem a little out of context.
  • Swingin' Sixties: 7. Not bad, but the buttsecks joke (like the oh noes one) just didn't fit quite right and you've got another list of slogans/quotes here. Maybe you could delve a little bit more into the hippie culture by talking about them, directly, instead of just their sayings.
  • In Modern Times: 9. Here, you hit back into the flow of the article you started with, and it works excellently. The bit about high school was a good touch.
  • Future: 7. Didn't really make me laugh, but you get points for finishing the article well. Still, I don't see how the overweight American joke fit in with the other things you were saying, maybe you could make this transition a little bit clearer.
Concept: 8 I think you've got a lot of good ideas here, and there's definitely potential for this to work really well.
Prose and formatting: 8 The prose is fine for the most part with a few odd little grammar bits here and there that probably only bug me, but there was one formatting issue for me, which is the Bible quote. You don't have any other quotes in the article in this format and it creates a weird difference. I recommend just putting it in normal quotation marks and still italicizing it to make it look a little bit less intimidating as a mass of text.
Images: 7 Images were decent, but the Medieval one didn't really add anything for me. I suggest potentially finding a picture to go with your Bible verse instead of the Medieval bit.
Miscellaneous: 7.7 Averaged.
Final Score: 38.1 There's a whole lot of good here, for sure, but there's also a whole ton of lists. If you could shave these down, you've got a very substantial article on your hands.
Reviewer: --mrmonkey72 17:22, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
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