Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Antbortion

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edit Antbortion

WOW! I just did what I think is the quickest rewrite I've done (it only took a week!) of this previously pretty bad article (16/50 on a Review by Saberwolf116). I think it's maddeningly hilarious. But to get it featured, I'll need other people to like it too. So review it, plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!! thx!

Necropaxx (T) {~} 15:47, May 28

I'll take this one. Staircase CUNt 15:49, 28 May 2009 (UTC) Can't right now. Staircase CUNt 16:55, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
Humour: 7.5 An immense improvement from the previous version. Adding a few images and giving it a linear concept really did wonders for it. There are, however, a few presistent problems that still present itself. First, the article makes repeated references to Oscar Wilde- i'm sure I don't have to lecture you on that one. Second, you get a bit long-winded here and there- the "controversy" section is mildly amusing, but I think a ficticious debate about Antbortion doesn't really flow well with this kind of article. ACLU bashing is a bit old, so i'd recommend you change the header of that section to "how to deal with antbortion haters" and tweak that a little bit. I think you could stand to get rid of the difficulty and level list in the "Performing an Antbortion" section- since no other reference is made to "levels" and "difficulties", it seems pointless to have there. The rest of the article is a bit listy, which i'll get into in the P&F section.
Concept: 8.5 A play on words that involves using ants to perform an abortion- very funny and amusing. It'll likely piss off a lot of IPs, but on the other hand, who cares what they think? My only problem here is that there is a lot of ideas with antbortion- this article should stick to how to performing one. Alternatively, you could move this too HowTo:Perform an Antbortion and fill this article with ideas, though that will likely take a lot of work. I really like this, because there are a lot of good ideas to go with here. If you want to work with something like this again, a few ideas I can think of are UnBooks:The Rant of an Antbortionist or UnNews:Antbortion declared illegal in Texas. Those are just some ideas, but there is plenty of potential for hilarity with a concept like this.
Prose and formatting: 6 A bit weak. I think the subsections should be made into sections, and I also think you should change the font of your image captions to regular. Also, the plane image is a bit big, and at several points in the article you get listy with the instructions- the instructions should be rewritten, but you could stand to get rid of them. The biggest problem I see is that your images are a little too big for your article, so you should reduce the size a bit.
Images: 9 One of the stronger points of the article. Your images are clever, and cover the topic itself very well. I suppose it's hard to write an article about antbortion without getting explicit, so I suppose you did good with what you had. The images aren't really your problem- apart from scaling them down, they're just fine the way they are, so I would just leave them alone.
Miscellaneous: 7.5 My overall grade of the article.
Final Score: 38.5 You've made a signifigant improvement on this article, and I think you might have a feature on your hands. However, it's a bit rough around the edges right now. The biggest things you could fix are to omit the references to Oscar Wilde, and tweak the "controversy" section so that it fits with the rest of the article a bit better. Optionally, you could mess around with the subsections and images to give your article an extra kick. It's good, but it's not quite there.

Bottom Line: Good article, a marked improvement, but still a bit rough around the edges; work on it a little more before you put it on VFH. Good luck! =)

Reviewer: Saberwolf116 01:55, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
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