Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/American University of Mediocrity
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
New page. Does the "beer college" part not fit in with the rest? Does the article get too bleak in places? Is it...good? --THE 11:30, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
|Humour:||5||It's an idea that is witty, and indeed could be a great parody article, but I think it's been written without a clear idea of what you want to achieve. Unfortunately, it doesn't realy manage to get across the inherent humo(u)r of a university where, far from going to achieve, you just go to get pissed and get laid.
So, paragraph by paragraph:
Reasons to attend - This bit really needs to set the tone, and it doesn't. As an example, do it in big enthusiastic letters. Get Laid! Get Drunk! Get Work in WalMart! All on Your Mom!. Sell the proposition - that we believe it's bloody brilliant to be mediocre, and we're going to help You to be as mediocre as possible!
Classes - This bit is where a list would really work. You could even do a few course outlines, list qualifications, things like that. The use of quotes is good, though again would be funnier when alongside an appropriate course.
Success Stories - I kind of quite like the 'before and after' approach - seems to be a good way of selling it.
Exams - This bit doesn't do anything for me. I don't think it really adds anything to the article, so I'd just take it out.
Beer College - Thought this is the funniest bit actually, though it could certainly do with some further development. So many universities have these community type subsidiary colleges, it's a perfect opportunity to really drive home the shitness of the place.
Discpline - Again, doesn't add too much.
Other stuff - I'd think about adding sections on housing, Student Union, social life, postgraduate opportunities (We run posgraduate courses in Welfare Cheque collection, while our nutrition department is a world leader in the science of 'locating fast food restaurants in a new town'.) And so on - you get the idea.
|Concept:||7||Concept-wise, it ought to be good. There's rich pickings - Tom Lehrer is a good example of how someone has taken this concept of celebrating mediocrity and making it funny. I'd be inclined to make it into more of a prospectus and less of a ramble - sell the concept of if. By doing so, you could make it into a cracking parody of a second rate state university or (for those of us in the UK, a typical 'new'university.|
|Prose and formatting:||5||Formatting - It's really very dull, and quite difficult to read in such blocks. You know how to use headers and stuff, but look at some of the other things you can do. There's better templates for quotes, and think about using tables and stuff for some bits of it. My way to do it would be to have it laid out like a real college brochure - have a picture with each testimony, use sub headings, generally make it so that someone reading it doesn't feel like they're reading nonsense.
Grammar and stuff - There's the odd typo in there which could be weeded out. Other than that, it's reasonable, though there are some very long sentences which make reading difficult.
|Images:||0||No images - which is a shame, because there's so much they could go with! Pictures with testimonies, a shot of the state of the art drinking den, a photo of the top shelf of a newsagents masquerading as the library... Be free, let you imagination run!|
|Miscellaneous:||4.3||Average of previous comments.|
|Final Score:||21.3||Inherently, it's not a bad idea. It's just, well, lacking in imagination.|
|Reviewer:||Gladstone 14:42, 27 June 2008 (UTC)|