Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/American Politician

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Revision as of 14:54, January 12, 2008 by MrN9000 (talk | contribs)

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edit American Politician

I created another version of this article under the namespace "UnBestiary:Politicians." I prefer the version that is linked to this page, so I am trying to delete the other version, but don't know how. Other than that, thanks for reading this article. --Nomoredonkeys 03:52, 12 January 2008 (UTC)

OK, I will review. MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 14:16, Jan 12
<unrelated discussion>Hey, I like your username Nomoredonkeys, but I would like it more if it was "Nomoreelephants"</unrelated discussion>--Æ 14:37, 12 January 2008 (UTC)
Humour: 8 The whole article is written in a semi sarcastic style, but in places becomes very sarcastic. This is not really a problem, but you might find that some people do not get the shift. In places you are saying things which are true, whereas in others saying things which are false. There is no problem with this, I just wonder if there might be a way to make the more sarcastic bits a bit more accessible to those who do not naturally appreciate sarcasm.

Just some ideas for other sections if you fancy... What about politicians who actually have no chance of winning? In the UK we have the Green Party who will never win, but use the political process as a way of furthering their political agenda. Is there an parallel in the US? We also have the Monster Raving Loony Party over here. These guys really just do it for a laugh, but maybe people like this deserve a section?

Maybe you could count ABC or CNN as politicians? They do appear to do a lot of campaining, and meet the other requirements for a politician you give!

Concept: 7.5 Not really the most original of concepts, but still it's a good one. I noticed that you have not added any links around the wiki to this page. I would find some suitable pages and find a way to fit a link to your article in. If you don't no one will ever find this page, and we don't want that! Also, make sure you add some more suitable categories also.
Prose and formatting: 8.5 Rather dam good prose. Not many problems here. I think you could use a few more wiki links to other articles. You might also be able to trim the text down a little bit here and there by being a bit more concise, but that's up to you obviously.
Images: 8 A politician stalks its prey: Gay male, age 20-50, who enjoys hunting, fishing, and long trips to the bathroom. Made me laugh.

All of the pictures are suitable, and well used. I was not such a fan of

A politician stalks its prey: the elusive American voter. this appeared to be a bit lame to me, but the others were well used. I'm not sure what could replace this pic, but it's the first one you see, so it needs to be the best really.

A politician stalks its prey: the people of Middle Earth. was a great bit of chopping.

Miscellaneous: 8 {{pee|8|7.5|8.5|8}}
Final Score: 40 This article is not really laugh out loud funny, it's more 'clever'. Not that there is a problem with that, but if you are thinking of VFH, I think you might need to come up with a few more accessible gags which will appeal to the masses. I think if you VFH this as it stands you will get a lot of people say something like "it's OK, but did not really make me laugh".
Reviewer: MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 14:54, Jan 12
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