Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/American Pie
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From the requested articles list. After I wrote most of it, I figured out most of links referred to the movie, but screw that, the song is more fun to write about.Djowalsen 08:20, November 27, 2010 (UTC)
- Since I have nothing else to do, I will take the honor of doing this. 12-24 hours.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 00:40, December 17, 2010 (UTC)
|Humour:||4||I haven’t done a review in a while, but I done my best to review this.
I can see that you based this off the song of the same name (good song by the way), and had made an effort to look up real info about the song (“auto-gyro accident that killed Buddy Holly“ is an example) Yet while I like the concept of a article about a song (I’ll explain further below), I’m afraid there is a few things that I would like to go over, so brace yourself for it, you may not like what you hear. First, as I was reading the rest of the article, I was disappointed to see that much of what is written was mainly made up. While sometimes articles can achieve a few laughs like this (very rarely nowadays), the HTBFANJS states that, “The truth is usually funnier than nonsense. The funniest pages are those closest to the truth.” While it’s ok to add made up stuff in to make it humorous, it shouldn’t be the main comedy of the article, otherwise people will be like ”meh” and would search somewhere else for humor (some exceptions in certain cases include UnBooks, HowTo, etc). I won’t directly pinpoint what you need to change; I prefer you use your own judgment as well as HTBFANJS to decide what should stay and what should go. Second, the article tends to be a bash on hippies. While hippies are sometimes something to laugh at, articles that just bash people is not ideal for humor and can turn people away from this article or even Uncyclopedia altogether, especially if they are the person the author is bashing. If you want to make someone, subculture, etc, you should do it in a way where it’s making humor of the subject without outright bashing or criticizing them. I do like how you make jokes about the length of the song and how the author doesn’t reveal much about the song and I think you should expand on these two subjects, while following the suggestions I wrote above.
|Concept:||5||The concept of an article about a song is good, as there isn’t much song articles (that I know of) on Uncyclopedia. Yet the hippie bashing and the mostly made up stuff I mentioned above keeps this score to a 5.|
|Prose and formatting:||5||You do have a few spelling mistakes, but everybody does once in a while. Nothing like someone having to proofread it or do it yourself on Microsoft Word using the spell check system on there. But the real problem here that keeps the score low is the fact that the article has tons of red links. The thing about red links is that they are so annoying because they lead to nowhere and therefore serve no purpose. Removing these red links would bring a great honor to Uncyclopedia by removing the red menace.|
|Images:||3||The first image, while it displays no humor, does go along with the article and supports the fact that this article is about a song. The second one does not provide humor itself, but maybe a funny caption would change that. The third one relates to the hippie bashing I mentioned earlier, and therefore should go. Plus, it shows no humor in the article and the caption does not help at all.
Due to the fact I only listen to this song once in a while and not too much into the subject (I’m more of a hard rock and metal fan when it comes to rock music), it would be hard for me to suggest what other kinds of images you should put on here as well, so once again you’re going to have to use your own judgment again.
|Miscellaneous:||4.3||My average score of this article|
|Final Score:||21.3||Even though it's been a while since I did a pee review,I think I did ok with this one. Anyways this article does show promise, it just need a little more love. Apply my suggestions to your article, read HTBFANJS (it will help, a lot, I guarantee, |
|Reviewer:||--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 02:09, December 18, 2010 (UTC)|