Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Alternative legal systems

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edit Alternative legal systems

PoliszSir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj KUN 13:26, August 31, 2012 (UTC)

Humour: 7.5 This is funny, but it could be a lot funnier. You have a number of parts that are laugh-out-loud hilarious, but there are also bits that are kind of a letdown.

For example, the lines "And you are sentenced to... 5 years in prison! Congratulations!" and "The system is vulnerable to corruption - a criminal (being a judge at the same time) would easily bribe themselves" are funny because they show how stupid the legal systems are, without outright stating it. They're unexpected and witty. But a lot of the time these lines aren't apparent. Most of the time, the article just states facts or points out the obvious. You make this amusing in many places, but it never amounts to anything really funny.

I think this is really important at the end of each system, when you really need a funny conclusion to each argument. For example, the entire article ends with the line 'Lynch mobs are often introduced in regions where the police cannot deal with crime properly.' This is not humorous, and not a very good conclusion to the article as a whole.

Don't get me wrong though, I found this article is very amusing and I liked it. It's just that there are a lot of chances for funny lines that seem wasted.

Concept: 9 This is a fantastic concept, but as I said, I think you could do a lot more with this.
Prose and formatting: 8 Well written, and good formatting. No complaints.
Images: 7 The images are decent, but the only one that is actually funny is the 'dice' one. The others could do with similar, funnier, captions.
Miscellaneous: 8 My overall rating.
Final Score: 39.5 As it stands, this is a strong article. I know it's featured, but I still believe it can be improved, and could be hilarious. But that's just my opinion.
Reviewer: --Snippy 05:17, November 25, 2012 (UTC)
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