Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Alejandro

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edit Alejandro

Horace Donald Westenchester 21:29, June 24, 2010 (UTC)

Raptor This raptor is guarding this article while his master, Iwillkillyou333 is reviewing it. Be Careful! He Bites.
ALmost done--If you're 555 then I'm Number of the Beast Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 00:02, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
I like to write a lot of things, I’m pretty good at Pee Reviews, and I received an award Author of the Month Award and one feature. Also I like Avenged Sevenfold, Modern Warfare 2, Halo 3, and brunettes and emo girls.
Concept: 6 The concept was ok, yet there is one thing that prevented me from giving you a higher score. First, would be the entire Famegor and Sexthra deal. They have nothing to do with the song, or Lady Gaga for that matter. If you want to do something like this, then you should put this on an article that talks about her album. Otherwise this doesn’t really belong here and should go. Remember, you’re talking about the song, so avoid going off topic as much a possible. Otherwise the concept is ok.
Prose and Formatting: 7 You only got three spelling/grammar errors, and I’ll shall show them to you as well as the corrected ways to write them.
  • goosestepping-Suppose to be spelled goose-stepping.
  • commentors-Suppose to be spelled commenters
  • hispanics-Suppose to have the first letter capitalized

Next will be the tone. While you stayed with a encyclopedic tone most of the way, there are some instances where you break that tone. For example, “I would like to take this opportunity to point out that I have a love and appreciation for Brazilian women, that I admire their bravery and their love for one another, and that I admire their courage in the face of painful full-body waxes. If anyone wants to make a video of them stripping their clothes off and oiling each other up, I'd be down for that,” and “This would probably be the most interesting part of this article, but, unfortunately, it would be badly off-topic to describe this incredible, adrenaline-fueled, heart-pounding battle. Let's just say that once it was over, Famegor really, really needed a shower.” would be considered breaking the tone, as they go from a third person view to a first person view. I’ve been told that this is not a wise thing to do, so I’m applying that here. When you pick a tone, you have to stick with it the entire time, without veering off to another. Otherwise it makes the article look less professional.

Humo(u)r: 6 Well it’s kinda alright I suppose, but you just have two sections about the song. Although it gives some info and laughs on the article, it’s very short and needs some expansion to it. It’s best to look at what other people did with articles that talk about songs. For example, look at these two articles Diamonds & Rust and Ol' Red Those are good examples to help out. The humor is good, but you need to put more in. Also, read HTBFANJS, it will help you out, a lot.
Images: 5 The first image was pointless, because it has nothing to do with the song. Sure, the caption says that his name is Alejandro, but it also says that the song isn’t based off of him. So why is it there? I suggest you add something else, such as the cover for the single.

The second one is better, as it deals with the video. But I suggest you expand it, because it’s smaller than desirable size. And I recommend putting a better caption, because that has been used a lot. That’s up to you, but I highly recommend it.

Also I suggest adding more images, maybe from the video or something, just to make your article look better and less dull.

Miscellaneous: 4.3 My overall grade of this article
Final Score: 28.3 If you have any questions/comments, just go to my talk page and I’ll be happy to answer them. Good Luck! Cheers!
Reviewer: --If you're 555 then I'm Number of the Beast Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 10:19, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
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