Intro(8): Nice intro. The homosexual joke is funny (or is it true ?), and I like how you say that he is "less notably" an actor. Also, the marksman and fencer bit is well-appreciated. I think, however, that one extra sentence would be a nice way to fill out this first part. Perhaps right after the "he has lived his many years on Earth in a way that others can only aspire to", you could add a sentence about how he is awesome or a multi-tasking super-human etc, before your last sentence (which is perfect BTW).
Early Days(9):It's not the funniest first part of an article ever, but it is very good. It is both amusing and makes me want to read the rest of the article (a very high point). Kudos.
His Big Break: Mildly Bearded (10): I must say, I think you own the encyclopedic and formal tone even better than I do, and I've had 10 years of private tutoring from an English and Latin Professor (native language French). Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but no, this is hilariously well-written! Don't change a thing here. The article takes a darker tone at this point, making you feel like it's almost completely serious, so when you remember it isn't, you laugh out loud.
Success and Excess: The Fully Bearded Rickman(8.5): It's not nearly as funny as the other parts, but I don't think this can or really needs to be changed. It's still very funny, and actually makes me want to lock my razor away and grow a beard. Who knows, I might even go for the orgy after that (but not with the cirrus troop, we nobility have are own parties)!
The Beard Is Dead, Long Live Rickman: Newly Shaved(10):
Great closing! Sha-bang! You nailed that one, and I am still laughing. The last part in which you really Britished it up and took out the "best of your English skills" truly amused a French person like myself! C'est bon!
If asked, I would have said this was a hard concept to go with, but you obviously had no difficulty. I can't complain in the least.
Prose and formatting:
A true master of the English language. Are you/have you majored in English? Nice writing, and most hilarious formal tone.
Great Images. Nothing gut busting here, like say: Alan with some hookers and dwarfs, but they serve their purpose.
Because I didn't know Alan was so awesome before. Now I think he's the new Chuck Norris. Chucky is so 2005ish anyway :) Congrats.
Time for VFH I think, if it isn't already there. You'd have my vote! (In fact I'm going to go see if this is there, and then go nominate it.)