Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Affair

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Revision as of 03:13, July 15, 2009 by Guildensternenstein (talk | contribs)

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edit Affair

Question I want answered: Is this concept any good, or am I wasting my time? And is it even funny? Thank you! Nameable mumble? (UnScr:PWotM) 18:49, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

This article was one of the worst i've ever read.It's clearly a personal revenge against the adulter wife.I know it must be terrible to be cheated, but blowing it on the Uncyclopedia will change nothing. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Adorphin (talk • contribs)

Um. That was kind of the point. It's fake, btw. If you really thought it wasnt funny, I'll have to rethink it. Nameable mumble? (UnScr:PWotM) 19:16, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
I gave this a quick once-over just now, and I like the idea and what you've done with it. I'm a bit busy at the moment (and will be for a while), but if no one takes this in the next day or two I'd be more than happy to give a full, in-depth review. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:38, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
Humour: 6 I like the idea you're going for, but it falls sort of flat.

If I were you, I'd work on giving this a bit more, you know, momentum and pizazz. Maybe, try starting your character off all cool and composed, and have him gradually descend into craziness, as opposed to just having him start out disgruntled at the outset. That way, the article builds toward something, as opposed to the entire joke just being apparent at the outset, you know?

Concept: 8 I really like the idea, but again, it is just a tad bit flat, as I said above. The only thing I can really recommend is doing what I suggested above.
Prose and formatting: 8 From what I can tell, everything is spelled correctly. You also use italics and bolding for effect, which you've done fairly well. It's nothing spectacular, but it's certainly good, hence your solid score here. Don't change a thing.
Images: 4 These could use some improvement. The first image is alright, but the second one is just awful. It's cliched, juvenile, and predictable all at once, which is not what you want. Maybe get a picture or two of "Teri" instead, or a picture of the house where the narrator and Teri used to live, and have a caption somewhere along the lines of "This is the house where Teri and I used to live...," or something. This is obviously the article's weakest point.
Miscellaneous: 6 Average-ish.
Final Score: 32 I really wish I could say a little more about this, but I can't seem to find anything more to say. All in all, you've got a solid, if somewhat flat, article here. Give it a sense of momentum and purpose, and get some better pictures, and you should be great.
Reviewer: Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:13, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
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