Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Addition

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edit Addition

This is a little short, but I like the length actually. I rewrote this after it got deleted on VFD. Just looking for the normal, where its good, where it needs work, and how to help it out. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 14:48, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

This article is under review by
Gerry Cheevers.

Sayeth Gerry: shotgun!!

ah, joining me on my quest to rid Template:Math of terribleness and bring it to its rightful glory, where it shall be revered and feared? awesome!

Humour: 7.8 average of sections
  • intro: 8

ha! i lolled a little bit. as i was the nominator of the original terrible article, i read it several times, and this intro, while siliar, is much better.

  • another example: 7

again, very solid. i like the idea of going too far into the specific example, but don't get bogged down by it too much. the last line, you kind of pulled 'four' and 'five' out of nowhere, unless i missed something. try to make the example more coherent and make it flow better, and it'll work nicely.

  • fine i'll come get you: 9

haha, this was much better, the equation was very classic.

  • ok i'm here: 7

i like the reversal here, but again, the equation kind of puzzled me. make it nice and simple, just like out of a first grade math book.

Concept: 8.5 5/5 points for a well-known subject. obviously.

3.5/5 points for execution; i like the direction you went with it, i like it a lot. i felt like the ending just didn't 'feel' right. you went from what seemed like a set of instructions to dialogue (reasoning with ted). i would think about keeping the narrative strictly to the first person, and having the last section be the narrator planning his own escape to himself, or somesuch.

Prose and formatting: 6 you have a bunch of redlinks. the formatting was fine for a math psuedo-stub. i like the length also; any less and it would be worthless, any more and it would be tedious. both your images were kind of squished up the top. your grammar and spelling need some work, try running this article by UN:PS.
Images: 6 images were ok. i think a better caption for the ted image wouldn't be too hard to come up with.
Miscellaneous: 7.1 average!
Final Score: 35.4 my preview button tells me that your score is 35.4, placing your article right at the 'adequate, the average article' step on the ladder. i think this is certainly worthy of inclusion in my eventual goal of a totally awesome Template:Math. i recommend deredlinkifying, cleaning up some of the more complex stuff in the math problems, and moving the second image to a better location. certainly a solid job, sir, my hat is off to you!
Reviewer: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:23, 13 August 2008 (UTC)
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