Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Ad Hominem

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edit Ad hominem

I am a new editor, and generally lacking of humor. How to show the user's username? Like in You.

{{USERNAME}} - use it wisely though. --THINKER 07:01, 21 June 2007 (UTC)
Humour: 5 The humo(u)r is a bit too harsh in points right now. Part of this could be fixed by expanding and drawing out the article. Perhaps have the narrator start out more contained and respectful, then grow more and more attacking as he becomes frustrated. Also, remember that the other side of Ad Hominem is "buttering up" the other person. You could have the narrator attempt to be nice to the other person at one point, then explode when that fails.
Concept: 7 The concept is in the right direction, but it is hurt by the shape in which the humo(u)r is.
Prose and formatting: 4 Two things hurt the prose right now. First, the extra stuff within the article, mostly the way it's arranged (the Laura Bush quote and the pics). It makes the material seemed cluttered, so try to space it out a bit. Secondly, the paragraphs are too short per section, and you could fix some of this by changing the header (adding an extra = on each side) to combine the sections while making the banter still flow.
Images: 7 Images within the article are fine (except for the spacing issue I just described). However, one of the two banners at the beginning will do, especially with the banners at the end. Basically, too many banners are making it more cluttered.
Miscellaneous: 4 The links in the explosion paragraph need to go. You don't need to link every single word possible. Also, the mention of my name in the last sentence isn't necessary; it's randomly in there for no real reason related to the article.
Final Score: 27 Nothing else to say. Just read through the comments. The article is going to need a lot of work...and next time, I may not be so gracious a loser. :)
Reviewer: --Mr.Vib 23:53, 21 June 2007 (UTC)
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