Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/A perfect article

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edit A perfect article

WiiKend 20:15, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Yup, I've got this one. --ChiefjusticeDS 18:28, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 8 Your article has some perfectly valid humour as it currently stands but does run into it's share of problems, rather ironically. Anyway that inevitable joke out of the way, the first problem is that while the entire article is supposed to be amusing due to the tone and style you have made some errors with the jokes. I think that when you make a joke that involves the prose being a certain length or containing a certain literary error then you should work to make sure that the text is more than just rambling, you do this successfully at one point in the article and so, should attempt to replicate this elsewhere. For the part on digressing in articles then you should try to avoid changing subject with no further explanation, it feels very abrupt otherwise and a subject change to something slightly more related might help a bit more. Otherwise there are very few issues with your humour, your tone could produce some more humour but please refer to my comments below for advice on that. Though you could consider shoving this one into the How To, it seems more suited to it.
Concept: 8 OK, your tone is one of the trouble spots for your article. You have definitely chosen the correct tone for an article that gives advice, but you need to make sure that the tone stays consistent. If you are going to give out information in the article you can get some humour from implying that the reader is an idiot, thus you are having to explain this. If you take a look at some of the featured How To's you will notice that the authors do this regularly and that it can provide a great deal more humour simply through the tone. You have plenty of places in your article currently where there are perfect oppurtunities for this type of humour so I urge you to take advantage of it. You should also try to cut down on the rhetorical questions, try to write as though you are simply assuming that the reader is too stupid to even articulate the question, be patronising, but not obvious. Your current style demonstrates definite ability to do so, so why not have a go.
Prose and formatting: 9 Your prose are reasonable, though a final proofread to make sure that the spelling and grammar is all correct would not go amiss at all as there are a couple of difficulties, either with typos or syntax errors. The formatting is fine otherwise, but you should probably space out the two images as the first one appears to be sat on top of the other one, I know you are trying to make a point by putting them like that, but it still makes the page feel crowded, so try to space them out if possible.
Images: 9 Your images are fine, though I would recommend that you transplant any changes to the humour in the text over to them. I would also note that you should take another look at the second caption, as it feels quite a bit weaker than your first and feels like it could be much better.
Miscellaneous: 8 My overall grade of the article.
Final Score: 42 Ultimately your article is pretty good, the joke is done well and the writing is, for the most part, intelligent and well considered. All you need to do now is apply the finishing touches to the article, which may, or may not include moving it into the How To. If you have any questions, or qualms regarding this review or just a comment, then feel free to let me know on my talk page. Good luck making any changes and well done.
Reviewer: --ChiefjusticeDS 19:53, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
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