Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/A List of Things To Do Before I Die

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edit A List of Things To Do Before I Die

Lakepoint 19:24, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

I'm doing this. Give me 24 hours. --Some Idiot Image002 05:26, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Humour: 8 Many points in this article are actually pretty funny, and many made me chuckle. The main problem about this article, however, is do with the Concept section and so I'll detail everything there.
Concept: 5 This is a good concept but there are a few problems here.
  • Problem Number 1: The content of the actual list is good, but I don't like the way you introduced and ended the article. It's not funny in any way and doesn't fit or flow. I don't think you need to have an ending, so you can cut that stuff out. But you can definitely keep an introduction, you've just got to make it better. What I don't like about it is that it's YOU'RE list that you're keeping here because you can't keep it anywhere else. I think the best way you could fix this is to the make the article called 'A List of Things YOU Should Do Before You Die'. If you do this you could make a better introduction. Detail how many people are wasting their lives and doing nothing in it, and that your list will help everybody fulfill their lives. I don't care what you do but you need to change the context of of your current introduction.
  • Problem Number 2: You article is a list. Lists aren't usually very funny. However, you've got a good idea for a list and you can easily make this a GOOD list. I want to show you two lists. The first is this list. It is an ICU article (meaning if it isn't improved it will be deleted), and you can probably see why. If this same thing went on for all of the article, it would stay dead boring. However, even an article like that could be saved. Check out this list now. It has a rather funny concept for a list, but the things i, it goes into more detail, and each part of the list is it's own section. What I'm saying is that you should write a short paragraph for each point, as you could easily do this with your list. Even include a picture for most of them. This will not only make your article longer, but make it much funnier, as you can include more jokes in the paragraphs.
Prose and formatting: 4 A few problems. First of all, it doesn't look as a list, but this will change if you follow my advice in the concept section. The pictures are also badly spaced out, but you be able to spread them out easier when you lengthen your article. One problem that needs immediate fixing, however, is your links. Of the ones that are there, many of them are red links. This looks really bad. So, if a word doesn't have a page about it, don't link it. While we're on the subject of links, I'll add a few tips.
  • Only link important words (i.e. not words like 'the' or 'good')
  • Links add an emphasis on words like italics or BIG LETTERS do.
  • It can be funny to click a link and have it go to another page - i.e. if you click 'Santa Claus' it will direct you to the page of the Devil. To do this you would go [[Devil|Santa Claus]] with the link itself before the word.
Images: 7 Good pictures but this score could definitely go up once you have expanded your article, as every dot point could have a picture. Remember to space your images evenly, and visit image request for good photoshopped images. There is definitely potential for this score to go up to a nine or ten, you've just got to put some effort into it.
Miscellaneous: 6 Averaged your scores. I also think you could add some quotes, by the ay. A well written quote is always a jewel.
Final Score: 30 So, the main problems are in the concept but with expansion this could article could be heaps better and grow to be a real quality Uncyclopedia page. Good work on your third (is it?) page. Hope to see you writing more, and I also hope that all helped.
Reviewer: --Some Idiot Image002 05:57, August 6, 2010 (UTC)
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