Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/667:Neighbor of the Beast

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Revision as of 14:29, June 24, 2007 by THE (talk | contribs)

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edit User:TheLedBalloon/667:Neighbor

Ok, so I was too lazy to type out the entire title in my userspace. But is this one ready for extraction into mainspace? Feedback greatly appreciated. P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 18:43, 22 June 2007 (UTC)

Humour: 8 Some hilarious moments in here.
Concept: 9 hilarious idea.
Prose and formatting: 9 No problems here.
Images: 8 The pictures work well, particularly the ones of the two brothers, and the one of Satan.
Miscellaneous: 6 The weakest sections in here are the last two. The character list didn't do much for me. Try making the characters sound more "zany" in typical sitcom fashion. For instance, the landlord: "He is the landlord. He collects the money from the tenants, and is therefore a douchebag." this could be replaced with "The cranky landlord, who is always threatening to kick Satan out, causing the show's heroes to get into all sorts of madcap situations while trying to rescue Satan and teach the cranky landlord a lesson." I dunno. Something like that, except better than my lame example. The final section could use some work too...maybe instead of killing themselves they all died in freak accidents, Final Destination style? although the last section isn't a major problem.
Final Score: 40 On the whole, I'd say this is very funny, and ready to be moved into the mainspace. just needs some minor tidying up in those two sections I mentioned.
Reviewer: --THE 14:29, 24 June 2007 (UTC)
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