Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/50 Cent

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Revision as of 02:24, November 5, 2008 by Mnbvcxz (talk | contribs)

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FAQ

edit 50 Cent

Completely different spin on 50 Cent. I know I need better pictures. I'd like it if anyone could provide appropriate pictures. Thanks in advance. --MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 23:29, 5 October 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 4.5 I generally don't find contradiction or uberhyperbole funny. Articles, especially biographies, generally need to tell a story, and for that to work correctly, the article needs to be consistent and avoid uber-hyperbole. (Uberhyperbole is hyberbole that exceeds all believability, for example, saying Oprah weighs 1 billion pounds). I just can't image a half-dollar doing the actions described in the article. That reduces the article from a story to little more than a collection of one-liners and throw-away jokes. That is how most sitcoms and cartoons work, they have a story and plot, they are not a collection of random jokes. (There a few exceptions, but they generally are in niche markets and produce very few episodes.) Your article looks like its trying to have a consistent plot, so I'd advise increasing consistency and removing all implausible hyperbole.

Also, is this article supposed to be a character in a book, as the introduction says, or is that just a throw-away? It looks like you start out as though it's about a fictional character, then forget that idea somewhere before the midpoint of the article, and it ends with 50 cent being a real person.

If you insist of having him as a half dollar, at least have a picture of a have dollar on the page. Images make outlandish ideas and themes more believable.

As for the rest of the humor, it could use some work. It comes across a either too outlandish, or not present at all. It looks like it goes too "fast", hoping from one idea to the next without exploiting the potential humor in the ideas, and trying to make up for it with occasional spurts of outlandishness.
Concept: 6 The subject matter is well known enough to justify the article. However, making it a story about a half dollar doesn't work that well.
Prose and formatting: 6.5 It looks ok, but that one long red link makes the article look bad. Generally, you should try to have zero red links if your trying to get a Featured Article, unless your intentionally using red links for humorous purposes. Having no red links makes the article look cleaner and better formatted. You might to axe the quote too. Image captions are the safest place to put one liners. Additionally, you should cut back on the "why can't you see my satire?" links. It makes it look as though your jokes need to be explained, and generally, if humor needs to explained, its not funny.
Images: 5 What is with the black Popeye? The images don't really stick out, the ice cream one is sort of funny, and might be keepable.
Miscellaneous: 5.5 Average.
Final Score: 27.5 Fortunately, your article, although it has a low score now, can easily be improved. [There are articles which, because of a very weak concept, can't be saved, I just got done reviewing one before I reviewed this one.] Try fleshing it out more, add a few more good images, and increase the consistency.
Reviewer: --Mnbvcxz 02:24, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
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