Today's Featured Article - Costa Coffee
Costa Coffee is a multinational coffee-house chain that operates over seven million coffee shops across 127 countries. Costa Coffee is famed for its motto, "A coffee for every mile," and rather less for its coffee. Costa Coffee's business strategy is to have a Costa Coffee shop "within view from anywhere in the UK."
The Costa Coffee website provides an insight into its history:
After reading an article about dwindling coffee shops in London, twins Mildred and Mortimer Costa seized the business opportunity to start a coffee brand and began importing raw coffee from Peru. Their practice was simple; order one tonne of coffee per month, extract the coffee seeds from the fruit by hand and then roast it in their mother’s kitchen oven. Less than two years after importing their first tonne of coffee, the stump-fingered Costa twins founded ’’Costa’s Roasted Seeds’’ in London in 1971. After three years of roasting, the Costas finally managed to accrue enough money to open their first coffee shop in central London. Costa Coffee™ as we know it was born. Its doors opened in August 1974 and was an immediate success. By 1983 it had expanded its franchise to 35 other locations across London’s suburbs and had established its now-famous branding.
To dominate the burgeoning UK coffee market, Costa Coffee developed an ambitious business strategy in 2009, setting itself near-impossible targets to meet by 2025. Its primary goal is to open as many stores as it can over the next 20 years. Like a viral outbreak, it has spread across the UK and infected many major business and retail outlets.
Costa Coffee can be purchased from inside petrol stations, public toilets, super-markets, WH Smiths, Homebase, public toilets, high schools, national embassies, petrol stations, independent cobblers, and public toilets. Sub-units operate in a variety of different locations around the country including public toilets, international airports, bus stops, train stations, social khazis, and public toilets. Many of Costa’s smaller franchises rely on the Costa Insta-Machine, a self-service device found frequently in communal shitters.(more...)
Yesterday's Featured Article -
Did you know...
- ...that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (pictured)
- ...that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
- ...that cats only pretend not to like to swim?
- ...and that they like it even more while inside a burlap sack?
- ...that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
- ...that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
- ...that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians?
- ...that a simile is like a metaphor?
- Tories augment their majority downward
On this day...
July 25: International Talk Like Yoda Day, it is.
- A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...: Social Security investigators witness Yoda's light saber battle with Count Dooku, they do. Hmmmm. Realise, they do, that the walking stick thing is a charade. "Your incapacity benefit try and remove, we will" they tell him. "Do or do not", cleverly replies he, "There is no try."
- 306: Proclaimed Roman emperor, Constantine I is, by his troops.
- 1946: Detonated underwater, it is, in the lagoon of Bikini atoll, an atomic bomb. Swimsuits of Women are torn in half, they are. Protest, by this action, they show.
- 1947: The United Nations, Talks Like Yoda Day, it innaugurates.
- 1951: The Korean War, pauses it does so that both sides can this day enjoy.
- 1962: President Kennedy visits Berlin and proclaims "Ein Berliner, Ich bin."
- 1969: Neil Armstrong lands on the moon. His first message: "Hm, yes, one small step for man, this is. One giant leap for mankind, also it is."
- 1970: When asked, Mao Zedong is, by reporter ██████ ████ whether more powerful capitalism is than communism, replies, he does, "No. Quicker, easier it is."
- 1980: "Eheh. Wars not make one great!" quips Jimmy Carter. He is soon defeated in a landslide.
- 1981: "Mr. President! Freed the hostages are!" shouts a reporter as Ronald Reagan declares "Darth Ayatollah, powerful and bearded he is!"
- 2004: George W. Bush spends most of the day pretending to listen to questions put to him, then widening his eyes and saying "Yoda! You seek Yoda!" This goes on until Dick Cheney breaks his arm with a tire iron.
- 2005: Ted Kennedy remarks to Howard Dean, "John Kerry was our last chance to stop Bush and Cheney. To which Dean replies, "No....there is another!&quo ; ( ' later revealed that even though they once made out, Hillary Clinton is John Kerry's sister.)
- 2006: For the previous entry, shot an uncyclopedia editor is.
- 2007: National bonking day introduced