Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions/Do you care

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"Do You Care" is mainly for highlighting great past articles. Please see Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions to make "Do You Know?" submissions.

A list of previously-featured articles may be found here. "Do you care" entries follow a similar format to DYK, but use 'facts' from the previously-highlighted articles. Anything else may be better suited to the main DYK list.

Each entry should begin with '*...that ' and should link to the corresponding source article(s). Note that the DYK/DYC boxes on the main page are randomised (to display just one of the entries at a time) and protected (so they must be updated by an admin before facts suggested below become an Uncyclopedia reality).

Example

Do you care...

Previously-featured articles in need of DYC. Do you care?

No More Room In Hell Act

... that the No More Room in Hell Act of 1662 (PL 108-133) is the federal recognition of zombies as an ethnic group and the establishment of specialized programs for zombie immigration and naturalization?

Gratuitous Anime Panty Shot

...that no vessel on the open seas today can lay claim to a better sense of duty, valor, and success than the U.S.S. Gratuitous Anime Panty Shot?

Gerrymandering

... that Gerrymandering is the

arcane and magical art of drawing
mystical boundaries over a land
to separate
their inhabitants into what are known as
“congressional districts?"

Finding Your Inner Sock Puppet

...that according to the book Conflicting Emoticons: Learning to Love Your Inner Sock Puppet, "online sock puppets are each controlled by a real, unique person, with real, unique needs and feelings"?

Alliteration

... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accoutrements as alarmingly affective alignments?

Nobody cares

... that Nobody cares?

... that Nobody cares is a policy employed by dictators, despots, democracy, the general public, and wiki administration?

Nike Revolution of 2006

...that during the Nike Revolution, many states changed names, split up, or grouped together, resulting in the drop from the original fifty states to 43, and the adoption of many other states from different lands?

Existing DYC entries

1927

  • ... that the year 1927 was so awesome, immense applause at the end of it resulted in not one but eight encores?

AAAAAAAAA!

Aesop's Fables

  • ...that, according to Aesop, a tortoise and a hare agreed to race? The hare took off at a tremendous pace, but lay down to sleep on the way. The slow but steady tortoise thus emerged victorious. Moral: Tortoises frequently carry rohypnol. Never leave your drink unattended when tortoises are about.

Afghanistan

  • ...that Afghanistan is a country located in Central Asia and in the Middle East, serving as a vital bridge between “nations that like to blow themselves up” and “nations that nobody really cares about"?
  • ...that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?

Air

  • ...that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.

Air Guitar

  • ...that the first performance involving an Air Guitar was a live open-air concert outside of Sherwood Forest where Lute player Allan O'The Dell and Court Jester Robin The Gnarled appeared sporting a radical new design of Lute they had crafted from air?
  • ...that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?

All Your Base Are Belong To Us

Alternate Universes I Seriously Hope Do Not Actually Exist

  • ...that in the Perpetual 80's alternate universe, after December 31, 1989 all time-keeping devices revert back to Tuesday, January 1, 1980 due to a bug in the alternate universe's C64 system code?

Alternative Medicine

  • ...that Alternative Medicine is a broad term describing those things which differ from actual medicine, which is hopelessly unhip and square. None of them are quite as healthy as you putting the bong down and getting some fresh air and exercise, but what are the odds of that happening?

Anonymous

  • ...that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ...that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?

Attack of the 500 foot Jesus

  • ...that the Attack of the 500 foot Jesus will take place at exactly 06:06:06 on Tuesday the 1st of January, 2008, on the dot? Thus will Nostradamus finally be proven wrong, since he stupidly predicted that all of this would occur a full three days later.

Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competition

Banana Phone

  • ...that the disposal of broken banana phones by tossing them out the window onto the road often leads to a driver running over the banana and spinning out?

Banned from the Internet

  • ...that as soon as you compare someone to Hitler. you lose the argument immediately, the thread closes, and you are Banned from the Internet? Proposing war for the purity of the Aryan blood is an effective way to trick your opponent into comparing you with Hitler; you will also win a Certificate of Hitlertude.

Bar Mitzvah

Barrel Clown

Bloodbath

Bon-bons

  • ...that the Dark Ages were caused by a lack of bon-bon deliciousness to make everyone happy and stop killing each other with swords and crossbows?

British film industry

  • ...that the film industry of Mediocre Britain has become one of the most successful film industries in the world as its wise and far-sighted producers, realising in the mid-80’s that people were afraid of any form of innovation or originality in the cinema, endlessly re-make the same 3 movies?

Cabbage

  • ...that a Cabbage can kill you just by looking at you funny? They rip people in half all the time, and roll around in their bloody entrails. They wouldn't even think twice about tearing off your arm, and jamming it through your eyesocket so that the fingers are sticking out your mouth, and then kicking you in the nuts, which would make you BITE YOUR OWN FINGERS OFF. The purpose of the cabbage is to flip out and KILL.

Certificate of Hitlertude

Cowation

Crimes inspired by video games

Dake-Bonoism

Doctor Who

  • ...that what marks the style of The Doctor out from other documentaries such as Horizon, The Day Today and Newsround Review is that the educational nature of the programme is carefully disguised behind a plot regarding aliens, time travel and such like, woven from the real-life adventures of Oscar Wilde?

Dude, Where's My Time Machine?

  • ...that the film Dude, Where's My Time Machine? has been criticized by physicists who claim the movie paints an unrealistic picture of time travel? Celebrated physicist and cartwheel champion Stephen Hawking said, "Even if we were to accept that that many sorority sluts could travel through time at once, it is still improbable that Mr. Kutcher would end up wearing one of the girls' panties."

Emoticonics

  • ...that Emoticonics, a well regarded and inconcievable science with a rich history and creamy centre, was established in the early eighteen sixty ones by Anonymous and was initially concerned almost entirely with developing a method for the faceless to convey emotion? ;)

English-American Dictionary

  • ...that the English–American Dictionary was designed as a reference to Americans as they attempt to understand, and be understood, by English-type people? It is intended to prevent embarrassment caused by the misinterpretation of rubber and other such words and phrases.

Estonia

  • ...that the word "Estonia" consists of two different words: "Est" and "Onia". Est means East and Onia=Onion, so Estonia should actually be called The Eastern Onion Country?

Euroipods

Fanfiction.net

  • ...that Fanfiction.net, originally formed to distribute Harry Potter slash/fiction, was created by Josef Mengele as a means to test the limits of human endurance?

Fascist

  • ...that the word fascist refers to anyone who annoys you, even slightly? Why exactly the fascists stopped strutting around in black shirts publicly assaulting their enemies, and started correcting the spelling of your e-mails and telling you off for not washing your coffee cup is unknown.

Fecal E.Coli

  • ...that Fecal E.Coli is the flagship product of the legendary Coca Coli Company.

Flintstones

Flying Spaghetti Monster

Founding Fathers

Fountainhead Earth

  • ...that Ayn Rand's Fountainhead Earth series achieved negative sales, with critics sending their copies back as returns and more copies being remaindered than were actually printed.

George Bailey

  • ... that It's A Wonderful Life's George Bailey was one of the most renowned criminals of the 1940s?

George W. Bush

German grammar

  • ...that in German, you can easily wordyouanywaylikesentencetogetherputtingbybuild? In fact, it's mandatory. Talk like Yoda and take out the spaces.

Gibberish

God

  • ...that God is possibly the best known fictional entity on Earth after the Beatles? He was elected to be our god for the 2006th year running this year, barely beating the Egyptian sun god Ra, Omnipotent Odin, and the Almighty Prune (still recovering from alcoholism). He is also dog spelled backwards.

Greatest Inventions

  • ...that dentists have admitted that, thanks to the invention of the electric toothbrush, they are now pretty much useless? Many only survive by living on the street and collecting donations from people who give them money because they don't realize that they are dentists.

Idiotic Table of the Elements

I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle

IKEA

  • ... that it has been proven beyond reasonable doubt that the reason for 50% of modern marriages ending in divorce is because those people try to go to IKEA together for a relaxing afternoon?

Incompleteness Theorem

  • ... that Gödel's famous Incompleteness Theorem states that no Talk page is ever complete? He proved it by the diagonalization method, forming a diagonal string of comments of "we should end this discussion now" entries. This result was later improved on by repeatedly adding of "Shut up".

Ipod Nano 200gb Instructions

  • ... that the modified iPod Nano 200 GB's capacity enables you to store about 50 000 pieces of music? If this capacity is filled with illegal "warez" mp3s, you can be fined up to 75 000 USD. (204 800 megabytes, 4 megabytes per song, 10 songs per CD, average CD price illegally fixed at 15 USD).

IPod yocto

  • ... that the iPod yocto, Apple's 1,337th digital audio player this year, is the smallest possible iPod? Its width and length are physically impossible to measure simultaneously, and it is the first known digital audio player to weigh less than air.

J.D. Salinger

  • ... that J.D. Salinger was this guy, he was a writer I think? He wrote this book, it was about baseball or bread or something.

John Seigenthaler Sr.

  • ... that Seigenthaler was himself assassinated on live TV in 1964 but made a special pact with Satan to preserve his living body, at the cost of his soul? Satan found his soul too small and stringy to be nutritious, and threw it in the garbage bin where it was never found.

Keira Knightley In A White Corset And Kate Beckinsale In A Black One

KITTENHOEFFER magazine stand

  • ... that the KITTENHOEFFER magazine stand and the NAPAALM torture rack are actually made from identical components, but issued with different instruction leaflets?

Kitten Huffing

  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?

Kitten hurling battle

  • ... that the kitten hurling battle originated in the steamy jungles of what is now Québec as a mating ritual of the Aztecs? Men would attempt to establish dominance over each other to impress females by measure of how vicious a kittening he could receive.

Kool Aid

  • ... that Kool Aid was a benefit concert held in order to help cool people everywhere, who were struggling to maintain their hip status in a world filled with squares?

Lies

  • ... that Santa Claus is real? If you haven't seen him it's because you've been naughty, telling lies, or Jewish.

List of weapons that don't exist, but should

  • ... that the gun that shoots guns that shoots swords is similar to the gun that shoots swords, but instead of shooting swords, it shoots another gun? When the second gun reaches the end of the string, you pull back on the first gun and the second gun shoots a sword.

Lord Byron

  • ... that Lord Byron was killed on May 25, 1840, in a pistol duel with Oscar Wilde at Wilde's East London apartment in what was promoted by Don King as the "Spat in the Flat"?

MC Hammer

Missing milk

  • ... that the mystery of the missing milk was a mystery that dominated newspaper headlines and became one of the greatest conspiracy theories of 1995? It remains unsolved with literally tens of police officers working on the case daily.

Mordor

Much Ado About Yokels

  • ... that Much Ado About Yokels by William Shakespeare is sassy, witty, funny, scathing, poised, naïve, twitterpated, smarmy, biting, sarcastic, caustic, intrepid, loathsome, riotous, and a terrible piece of theatre? After this play was published in 1902, it was doubtful that Shakespeare would ever work in Hollywood again.

National Try To Assassinate The President Day

Newmath

Niggers

  • ... that, while controversy has arisen over the name, imagery and the lack of African-American players or management of the Birmingham Niggers baseball club, the team's media guide notes: "You don't see any Native Americans playing for the Indians or Redskins, do you?"

Nihilism

... that when it was featured, Nihilism was the most content-free entry in history?

North Korea

...that, according to the DPRK, "Kim Jong-Il is regarded by many as the greatest being that the entirety of humanity has ever seen...and has caught Mew in Pokémon, obtained the Triforce in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and resurrected Aerith in Final Fantasy VII?"

Nostradamus

  • ... that Nostradamus was regarded as one of the best prophecy writers of the 13th century, penning the bestsellers The Da Vinci Code and 1984 which both won Ivor Novello Awards for their lyrical content? Most prophets of his generation were stoned, but he was more unconventional, preferring to inject marmite.

Open-Heart Surgery for Dummies

  • ... that Open-Heart Surgery for Dummies was added to the "Dummies" series in 2002 in light of a sudden demand for cheaper heart surgery? The do-it-yourself method was popularised by this book, written by Gerald Carter, a freelance writer with no medical experience whatsoever.

Orange construction barrels

  • ... that the Orange Construction Barrel (viaae fabricatio barrelus) is one of several species of highly specialized plants which have adapted to be able to grow in the most extreme of conditions - the roadways of North America? It is the second most common member of the sub-genus fabricatio -- commonly known as the "fabriforms" -- and is prized for its weather-resistance and bioluminescent fruit.

Peer

  • ... that Peer is this annoying guy who hangs out on IRC? He has connections with the Masters of the Internet so his name is always hidden from the user lists in channels. When someone least expects it, Peer jumps out and resets their connections.

Philip Glass

  • ... that Philip Glass (January 31, 1937 – ) is a composer of minimalist music, who once worked as a taxi driver in; Philip Glass is a composer of erotic music, who once worked as a taxi driver; Philip Glass is a composer of minimalist music, who once worked as a taxi...?

Phonics

  • ... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.

Poland

... that if you laughed at the Poland article, you probably haven't shot your fuck up?

Pong! the Movie

  • ...that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Brothers movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?

Poop Cuisine

  • ...that Poop is part of a balanced breakfast?

Pot v. Kettle

  • ...that Pot v. Kettle was a landmark case in USA history, giving people the right to make hypocritical statements without fear of retribution? What made this Supreme Court case unique was the fact that the Pot himself was black, as was the Kettle.

Quantum Economics

Racoon Tail v. Super Mario Cape

Random humor

  • ...that random humour is unique in that it is the only type of humor that is an ingredient in Jell-O? It is best known for being similar to Mountain Dew in that it has no use in solving a maze.

Red Shirts

...that when an expendable member of the crew in Star Trek wears a special uniform that creates reduced empathy, his death creates little discomfort, and he can be sacrificed for the good of the greater United Federation of Planets?

Redundancy

...that Redundancy is the use of superfluous text, speech, or items, repetitive text, speech, or items, that is more than what is required or is superfluous, repetitive, or more than required?

Romania

  • ...that Romania's primary import is drama? Romanian roommates are the world's greatest natural source of drama, and their output does not diminish over time. Romania is also the world's leading exporter of vampires, gymnasts and sexual fetishisation of old women.

RTFM

  • ...that RTFM is Interwebs-speak for "Repeat the first message". If someone tells you to RTFM, be patient with them and copy-and-paste your original message several times. Typing the message with capslock on will improve the chances that it will get through.

Scotland

  • ...that Scotland is not currently allied with anyone although they do go out drinking and having a good time whilst watching the football with Ireland on occasion?

Senator

  • ...that Senator is the brightest star system in the southern constellation of Toast?

Seven Deadly Sins

  • ...that the Seven Deadly Sins are both seven and deadly? Whoever has the highest five-sin combination is immediately struck down.

Spanish Inquisition

Stereotype Reassignment Surgery

  • ...that Stereotype Reassignment Surgery is a newly invented technique allowing national, ethnic and social groups who are fed up with their current stereotypes to trade them with another group?

St. Peter's Basilica

  • ...that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?

Styrofoam

  • ...that Styrofoam is a slightly edible fruit which is produced in overwhelming quantities from nothing at all?

Table of Contents

Teletubbies

Terri Schiavo

  • ...that Terri Schiavo, a martyr, was beatified for the miracle of distracting the American public long enough that God's will could be codified as law without anyone raising a fuss about it?

The artist formerly known as God

  • ...that God (born God Cohen in 4004BC in Liverpool, England) is one of the most famous and prolific musicians in the Western world? Though he recorded under the name God during his early career, a contractual dispute with his former label led him to change his recording name to YHVH, a string of unpronouncable consonants?

The GI Joe-Transformers War

  • ...that the GI Joe-Transformers War took place in 1988, and resulted in the Autobots/Joe Alliance (AJA) gaining control over the Union of Decepticon and Cobra Forces' (UDCF) strongholds in the Bedroom and Backyard theatres?

The Most Quotable Smackdown of All Time

The Night After Christmas

The Official List of the Best Things in Existence

  • ...that language is believed to have first been discovered around 45,000,000 BC when, moving rocks from one big pile of rocks to another large pile of rocks, an unnamed caveman dropped a rock on his foot and uttered the pivotal first word: “Moog”? Modern scholars have extensively studied this word and, going through all root languages, cite the modern translation of “Moog” to be “Fuck, my toe!”

The Oldest Trick in the Book

  • ...that The Oldest Trick in the Book is the infamous "Tapping on a person's left shoulder when you're standing on their right"? This trick was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia.

Uncyclopedia Brown

  • ...that Uncyclopedia Brown is the fictional hero of a series of detective stories for small children written by Oscar Wilde? His real name is Rasputin H. Brown, but he is known by the nickname Uncyclopedia, due to his vast knowledge of facts, figures and dates, all of which are untrue, misleading or inaccurate.

University of California

UnNews:New "voice chat" feature proposed for mobile phones

War on Terra

  • ...that in late 2001, President Bush declared total war on Planet Earth and all nation states and ecosystems harboring life?

Wikipedia

WMD (Donuts)

  • ...that WMD refers to "W's Missing Doughnuts", an incident at a Cabinet meeting that is the most probable cause for The War Against Terror?

World War I (video game)

X Window System

  • ...that X-Windows completely determines the look, smell and feel of applications running on it in such a strict way that all application windows look exactly the same? Although this makes it look far better than Mac OS X and even Windows XP, some users find it hard to distinguish between their applications when they all have the same title.

You have two cows

  • ...that you have two cows; Bessie, Maisie, and Clarabelle? You also have trouble counting.

Zombies

  • ...that zombies walk the Earth because there is simply no more room left in Hell; this as a result of the "No More Room In Hell Act" of 1662 wherein Satan outlawed further immigration into Hell because of "those damn dirty Americans" stealing all of the good jobs there and putting immense stress on the demonic economy?

Zork

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