Uncyclopedia:Chat

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[[File:Teletype.jpg|thumb|right|The perfect vehicle for an evening of chatting. And the punched paper tape can be a permanent souvenir.]]
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'''Chat''' or '''IRC''' is a marvelous new technology that permits computer users on the World Wide Web to slow down and converse by hunt-and-peck typing to one another, and then waiting, as though we still had '''modems''' and '''dial-up bulletin boards''' and [[AOL]].
   
<center>For a collection of quotes, see the <span class="plainlinks">[http://www.chronarion.org/chirpy/ Uncyc QDB]</span>.</center>
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Unfortunately, any IRC channel you may have heard about that uses the name [[Uncyclopedia]] has nothing to do with this website. With sporadic exceptions, moreover, the people you talk to there are not the people you talk to here.
{{Shortcut|[[UN:CHAT]]<br />[[UN:IRC]]<br />[[Chat]]}}'''NOTE: IRC CHAT IS ''NOT'' THE PLACE TO GO LOOKING FOR A MATE OR A PARTNER TO [[fuck|WATCH TV]] WITH. IT IS FOR PROJECT DISCUSSIONS AND SIMILAR TASKS.<!-- Ha! --> FOR MATCHMAKING, PLEASE CHOOSE A SERVICE LIKE EH... I DON'T KNOW... [[Do NOT click any links|MATCH.COM]] OR SOMETHING, AND HELP KEEP OUR IRC FILTH FREE. AND IN CASE THAT DIDN'T GO THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL, YOU WILL BE BANNED FROM THE CHANNEL IF YOU DO.'''
 
   
'''ALSO NOTE: DO NOT LINK TO PORNOGRAPHY OR SHOCK SITES, PREFERABLY WITHOUT EXCEPTION. IF YOU FIND THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY [[:Category:Pictures of naked girls|MUST]], BE SURE TO TAG IT AS "[[:Category:Not safe for work|NSFW]]" OR YOU WILL GET BANNED.'''
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In a perfect world, our webhost would not have been so eager to give away the office furniture, IRC channel, and so forth. But as [[your mom]] always told you, this is not a perfect world.
   
<div style="background: #EFEEED; padding: 10px">
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==What this means to you==
<div class="nonwhite">[[Image:Naked-fat-guy.jpg|170px|thumb|Your typical Uncyclopedia Chat funnyman.]]</div>
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Sometimes, when you tell the police "someone told you" that the [[Handgun|piece]] you were pointing at the [[HowTo:Rob A Bank With Your Penis|teller]] was merely a water-pistol and that you were going to get an [[ice cream]] treat, they don't seem to buy it. And [[UN:AA|Admins]] don't buy it either when you go to <code>#uncyclopedia</code> and "ask permission" to mainspace a crappy article, and then [[VFHS|nominate it]] for featuring on the main page. Despite the many people who are eager to "give you permission," Uncyclopedians remain responsible for their own actions no matter whether they got permission from "IRC" or from answering a pay phone or from "trolls who follow me everywhere and do stuff claiming to be me" or from "the voices in my head." Those who cannot figure this out (in advance) deserve what they get.
 
==Chat==
 
To access the Uncyclopedia [[IRC]] channel you have <s>five</s> three <s>options</s> Holy Commandments which are listed below. If you need help with connecting to Uncyclopedia's chatroom then please post a message in the [[Forum:Help|Community Forum]].
 
 
===1. <span class="plainlinks">[irc://irc.freenode.net/uncyclopedia Direct IRC link]</span>===
 
If you have an IRC client or plugin on your browser then you can go to [irc://irc.freenode.net/uncyclopedia irc://irc.freenode.net/uncyclopedia] to go directly to the channel.
 
 
===2. Manual===
 
Or just point your irc client to the mystical coordinates below:
 
server: irc.freenode.net
 
port: 6667
 
channel: #uncyclopedia
 
 
The Counter-Vandalism Network has a channel at '''[irc://irc.freenode.net/cvn-wikia-uncyc #cvn-wikia-uncyc]'''<br />
 
UnNews has its own channel as well ('''[irc://irc.freenode.net/unnews #unnews]''')<br />
 
There is also a channel for admins ('''[irc://irc.freenode.net/@uncyclopedia #@uncyclopedia]''')<br />
 
And there is a channel for dynamic article reviews ('''[irc://irc.freenode.net/unresource #unresource]''')<br>
 
===3. Web-based===
 
If neither of the above is an option for you or simply fail to work, try the web-based client below. It is serviceable and not usually blocked by libraries and centers of [[edumacation]].
 
====<span class="plainlinks">[http://webchat.freenode.net?channels=uncyclopedia&uio=d4 Freenode Web]</span> client====
 
Go to [http://webchat.freenode.net?channels=uncyclopedia&uio=d4 this page] to launch the web client. It is stable, fast, and easy to use, not unlike your mum.
 
<br />
 
</div>
 
[[Category:Uncyclopedia|Chat]]
 
[[pl:Nonsensopedia:IRC]]
 
[[ru:Абсурдопедия:IRC]]
 
[[fr:Désencyclopédie:IRC‎]]
 

Latest revision as of 20:48, December 9, 2013

Teletype

The perfect vehicle for an evening of chatting. And the punched paper tape can be a permanent souvenir.

Chat or IRC is a marvelous new technology that permits computer users on the World Wide Web to slow down and converse by hunt-and-peck typing to one another, and then waiting, as though we still had modems and dial-up bulletin boards and AOL.

Unfortunately, any IRC channel you may have heard about that uses the name Uncyclopedia has nothing to do with this website. With sporadic exceptions, moreover, the people you talk to there are not the people you talk to here.

In a perfect world, our webhost would not have been so eager to give away the office furniture, IRC channel, and so forth. But as your mom always told you, this is not a perfect world.

edit What this means to you

Sometimes, when you tell the police "someone told you" that the piece you were pointing at the teller was merely a water-pistol and that you were going to get an ice cream treat, they don't seem to buy it. And Admins don't buy it either when you go to #uncyclopedia and "ask permission" to mainspace a crappy article, and then nominate it for featuring on the main page. Despite the many people who are eager to "give you permission," Uncyclopedians remain responsible for their own actions no matter whether they got permission from "IRC" or from answering a pay phone or from "trolls who follow me everywhere and do stuff claiming to be me" or from "the voices in my head." Those who cannot figure this out (in advance) deserve what they get.

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