Uncyclopedia:Chat

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[[File:Teletype.jpg|thumb|right|The perfect vehicle for an evening of chatting. And the punched paper tape can be a permanent souvenir.]]
{{Shortcut|[[UN:CHAT]]<br />[[UN:IRC]]<br />[[Chat]]}}
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'''Chat''' or '''IRC''' is a marvelous new technology that permits computer users on the World Wide Web to slow down and converse by hunt-and-peck typing to one another, and then waiting, as though we still had '''modems''' and '''dial-up bulletin boards''' and [[AOL]].
   
{{Q|The only thing worse than being talked about on IRC is being talked about on LiveJournal. And the only thing worse than that is being talked about on the BBC.|Oscar Wilde|IRC}}
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Unfortunately, any IRC channel you may have heard about that uses the name [[Uncyclopedia]] has nothing to do with this website. With sporadic exceptions, moreover, the people you talk to there are not the people you talk to here.
   
{{Q|I can easily snipe you on this thing, as I disguise myself with many a username, so watch out!|127.0.0.1|Uncyclopedia Chatting}}
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In a perfect world, our webhost would not have been so eager to give away the office furniture, IRC channel, and so forth. But as [[your mom]] always told you, this is not a perfect world.
   
For a collection of quotes, see the <span class="plainlinks">[http://www.chronarion.org/chirpy/ Uncyc QDB]</span>.
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==What this means to you==
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Sometimes, when you tell the police "someone told you" that the [[Handgun|piece]] you were pointing at the [[HowTo:Rob A Bank With Your Penis|teller]] was merely a water-pistol and that you were going to get an [[ice cream]] treat, they don't seem to buy it. And [[UN:AA|Admins]] don't buy it either when you go to <code>#uncyclopedia</code> and "ask permission" to mainspace a crappy article, and then [[VFHS|nominate it]] for featuring on the main page. Despite the many people who are eager to "give you permission," Uncyclopedians remain responsible for their own actions no matter whether they got permission from "IRC" or from answering a pay phone or from "trolls who follow me everywhere and do stuff claiming to be me" or from "the voices in my head." Those who cannot figure this out (in advance) deserve what they get.
'''NOTE: IRC CHAT IS ''NOT'' THE PLACE TO GO LOOKING FOR A MATE OR A PARTNER TO [[fuck|WATCH TV]] WITH. IT IS FOR PROJECT DISCUSSIONS AND SIMILAR TASKS.<!-- Ha! --> FOR MATCHMAKING, PLEASE CHOOSE A SERVICE LIKE EH... I DON'T KNOW... [[Do NOT click any links|MATCH.COM]] OR SOMETHING, AND HELP KEEP OUR IRC FILTH FREE. AND IN CASE THAT DIDN'T GO THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL, YOU WILL BE BANNED FROM THE CHANNEL IF YOU DO.'''
 
 
'''ALSO NOTE: DO NOT LINK TO PORNOGRAPHY OR SHOCK SITES, PREFERABLY WITHOUT EXCEPTION. IF YOU FIND THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY [[:Category:Pictures of naked girls|MUST]], BE SURE TO TAG IT AS "[[:Category:Not safe for work|NSFW]]" OR YOU WILL GET BANNED.'''
 
 
<div style="background: #EFEEED; padding: 10px">
 
<div class="nonwhite">[[Image:Beingtompkins.png|151px|thumb|For more IRC help, see this instructional video.]]</div>
 
 
==Chat==
 
To access the Uncyclopedia [[IRC]] channel you have <s>five</s> three <s>options</s> Holy Commandments:
 
 
===1. <span class="plainlinks">[irc://irc.freenode.net/uncyclopedia Direct IRC link]</span>===
 
If your browser supports IRC (like [[Opera (web browser)|Opera]]), or if you have an IRC plugin installed for your browser you can click on [irc://irc.freenode.net/uncyclopedia irc://irc.freenode.net/uncyclopedia] to go directly to the channel. This also works for some stand-alone IRC clients that are associated with irc:// URLs in your browser.
 
 
:''(If you are using [[Firefox]] or any other [[Mozilla]] based browser, you can get the <span class="plainlinks">[https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/16 ChatZilla]</span> IRC plugin to use this method.)''
 
 
===2. Manual===
 
Or just point your irc client to the mystical coordinates below:
 
server: irc.freenode.net
 
port: 6667
 
channel: #uncyclopedia
 
 
The Counter-Vandalism Network has a channel at '''[irc://irc.freenode.net/cvn-wikia-uncyc #cvn-wikia-uncyc]'''<br />
 
UnNews has its own channel as well ('''[irc://irc.freenode.net/unnews #unnews]''')<br />
 
There is also a channel for admins ('''[irc://irc.freenode.net/@uncyclopedia #@uncyclopedia]''')<br />
 
And there is a channel for dynamic article reviews ('''[irc://irc.freenode.net/unresource #unresource]''')<br>
 
There is also a channel for pie and pie-related discussion ('''[irc://irc.freenode.net/turtle ##turtle]''')
 
===3. Web-based===
 
If neither of the above is an option for you or simply fail to work, try the web-based client below. It is serviceable and not usually blocked by libraries and centers of [[edumacation]].
 
====<span class="plainlinks">[http://webchat.freenode.net?channels=uncyclopedia&uio=d4 Freenode Web]</span> client====
 
Go to [http://webchat.freenode.net?channels=uncyclopedia&uio=d4 this page] to launch the web client. It is stable, fast, and easy to use, not unlike your mum.
 
<br />
 
</div>
 
[[Category:Uncyclopedia|Chat]]
 
[[pl:Nonsensopedia:IRC]]
 
[[ru:Абсурдопедия:IRC]]
 
[[fr:Désencyclopédie:IRC‎]]
 

Latest revision as of 20:48, December 9, 2013

Teletype
The perfect vehicle for an evening of chatting. And the punched paper tape can be a permanent souvenir.

Chat or IRC is a marvelous new technology that permits computer users on the World Wide Web to slow down and converse by hunt-and-peck typing to one another, and then waiting, as though we still had modems and dial-up bulletin boards and AOL.

Unfortunately, any IRC channel you may have heard about that uses the name Uncyclopedia has nothing to do with this website. With sporadic exceptions, moreover, the people you talk to there are not the people you talk to here.

In a perfect world, our webhost would not have been so eager to give away the office furniture, IRC channel, and so forth. But as your mom always told you, this is not a perfect world.

edit What this means to you

Sometimes, when you tell the police "someone told you" that the piece you were pointing at the teller was merely a water-pistol and that you were going to get an ice cream treat, they don't seem to buy it. And Admins don't buy it either when you go to #uncyclopedia and "ask permission" to mainspace a crappy article, and then nominate it for featuring on the main page. Despite the many people who are eager to "give you permission," Uncyclopedians remain responsible for their own actions no matter whether they got permission from "IRC" or from answering a pay phone or from "trolls who follow me everywhere and do stuff claiming to be me" or from "the voices in my head." Those who cannot figure this out (in advance) deserve what they get.

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