Uncyclopedia:Business/Goa Tse Temple and Store

Because There Is No Goa Tse

edit About

The Goa Tse Temple was built by two members of the Goa Tse Clan in 1337 AD. In 1484 AD, the Goa Tse Store was open, where the Goa Tse Clan sell some supplies and food to passers-by, locals and tourists. To request an order, ask at the talk page. The Goa Tse Temple is also a stock exchange. Here is where to go if you want to buy shares. To buy something, ask for it on the talk page and it will eventually be delivered. If you want a job, request it on the talk page. After you buy something, you can just put it on your userpage for something to eat for admins and whatnot. The Goa Tse Temple and Store is founded and funded by the Great Temple of Goa Tse in Q'ake Tu, Giratinaton, with this investment, and jointly operated by the Grue Army. Here is our bank account from the Central Bank of Uncyclopedia.

Members of the Goa Tse Clan or Grue Army can receive a 50% discount on purchases. Members of Der Unwehr can receive a 10% discount on purchases.

edit Employees

Shares are updated every Saturday. Supplies and food are restocked every two weeks.

• Joe9320 (Owner) Weekly Salary $90 (that's ☺$900,000)

WE SELL EVERYTHING AT RIDICULOUSLY LOW PRICES LIKE WAL-MART!

edit STOCK

(PLEASE NOTE: Prices are quoted in Wildes and U.S. dollars. Sorry, Valjuta cannot be accepted.)
Snacks

Snickers Bar: $0.40 (☺$4,000)

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: $0.20 (☺$2,000)

Mentos: $0.60 (☺$6,000)

Skittles: $0.50 (☺$5,000)

Pay Day Bar: $0.90 (☺$9,000)

Mystery Doughnut: $0.80 (☺$8,000)

Doritos BBQ Cheddar Chips: $1.50 (☺$15,000)

Twinkie pack: $1 (☺$10,000)

Three Musketeers: $0.90 (☺$9,000)

Starburst: $0.90 (☺$9,000)

Pudding: $4 (☺$40,000)

5 Gum (any flavour): $0.25 (☺$2,500)

Soldier Fuel: $1 (☺$10,000)

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Fruits, Vegetables and Meat

Apple: $1 per kilogram (that's about $0.10 each) (☺$10,500 per kilogram)

Orange: $1 per kilogram (that's about $0.20 each) (☺$10,000 per kilogram)

Banana: $1 per kilogram (that's $0.15 per banana) (☺$10,000 per kilogram)

Pineapple: $1 per kilogram (that's $0.20 each) (☺$10,000 per kilogram)

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Microwavable Food and Fuck Goods

Hot Pockets (in packets of 2): $4 (☺$40,000)

Famine Stamps (in packets of 10): $3 (☺$30,000)

Cigars (32 pack): $20 (☺$200,000)

Tsar Bomba Natural Male Enhancement: $11 (☺$110,000)

Balut: $1 each (☺$10,000 each)

Tali-Ban: $4 (☺$40,000)

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Clothes and Books

Underpants (3 pack): $4 (☺$40,000)

Book of Adventures II: $12.50 (☺$125,000)

On the Evolution of Species: $10 (☺$100,000)

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Video Games and Appliances

PS3: $75 (☺$750,000)

Xbox360 Elite: $75 (☺$750,000)

Nintendo Entertainment System: $65 (☺$650,000)

Bootlegged copy of The Legend of Zelda for NES: $30 (☺$300,000)

Bootlegged copy of Sonic the Hedgehog for NES: $35 (☺$350,000)

Sonic Riders (15th Anniversary Edition) for Playstation 2: $40 (☺$400,000)

Pokémon Platinum Version: $20 (☺$200,000)

Vii: $100 (☺$1,000,000)

Communist 64: $220 (☺$2,200,000)

Apple iPhone: $100 (☺$1,000,000)

Euroipods: $85 (☺$850,000)

Shitachi 32" TV: $100 (☺$1,000,000)

LG 41" TV: $120 (☺$1,200,000)

Dyson DC24 Vacuum: $12 (☺$120,000)

Swiffer Wet Jet: $3 (☺$30,000)

Guitar AMP: $50 (☺$500,000)

Les Paul Guitar: $150 (☺$1,500,000)

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Drinks

AMP: $2 (☺$20,000)

1up: $1 (☺$10,000)

7up: $2 (☺$20,000)

Gatorade: $2 (☺$20,000)

Gatorade Tiger: $1.50 (☺$15,000)

Fanta 6-pack: $10 (☺$100,000)

Starbucks Coffee: $3.50 (☺$35,000)

Rockstar Energy Drink: $1.50 (☺$15,000)

Monster: $1.25 (☺$12,500)

Lo-Carb Monster: $2 (☺$20,000)

Red Bull: $1 (☺$10,000)

Mother (from Australia): $2.40 (☺$24,000)

Coca-Cola (600ml): $2.50 (☺$25,000) (375ml: $1.10/☺$11,000)

Sunkist: $2 (☺$20,000)

New Coke (375ml): $2.80 (☺$28,000)

Krating Daeng (Thai Red Bull- buy it, BITCH!): $1 (☺$10,000)

Aquafina Water: $0.50 (☺$5,000)

Dasani Water: $0.25 (☺$2,500)

Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice: $9 (☺$90,000)

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Vehicles (Grue Army-Goa Tse Clan Base Loyola Dealership- Official Loyola Dealership)

Surplus Humvee: $18000 (☺$180,000,000)

Loyola Basque Sedan: $2000 (☺$20,000,000)

Loyola Basque Hatchback: $1800 (☺$18,000,000)

Loyola Aranzazu: $4000 (☺$40,000,000)

Airbus A380: $90,000,000 (☺$900,000,000,000)

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Weaponry

Technical: $12000 (☺$120,000,000)

XM8: $680 (☺$6,800,000)

AK-47: $790 (☺$7,900,000)

Bomb: $830 (☺$8,300,000)

BC-304: $15,000,000 (☺$150,000,000,000)

M16 Rife: $800 (☺$8,000,000)

GAT SMG: $1100 (☺$11,000,000)

FAMAS: $1000 (☺$10,000,000)

Thompson SM: $650 (☺$6,500,000)

M9 pistol: $200 (☺$2,000,000)

Tank: $28000 (☺$280,000,000)

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edit Goa Tse Clan Signups

Join the Goa Tse Clan NOW! Memebers get a 75% discount!