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Today's Featured Article
Today's Featured Article - Stairs
Stairs is the term given to more than one stair arranged diagonally to allow ease of movement between a lower floor and an upper floor, which comes in especially handy during commercial breaks when the toilet is on a different floor to the television viewing room. During the Dark Ages many viewers missed the recap of what happened before the last break due to the inefficiency of rope-ladders and fireman poles, particularly for those afflicted with aching joints and leprosy. Stairs were invented to address this problem as well as providing an effective defense against Dalek invasions. The invention of stairs also had other unforeseen benefits such as providing a safe and local government body-approved way to exit a building if the elevator fails during a fire.
Stairs are useful as a navigation aid for traversing a multi-level building or dungeon, even where no such stairs exist. The term upstairs can mean any floor above another floor, even if that floor is downstairs from another floor above it. This upstairs-downstairs duality has often resulted in confusion for many building dwellers who can’t decide which floor they need to be on when exiting an elevator. Many reports of missing people have been resolved when they were found wandering aimlessly caught in the limbo between upstairs and downstairs.
Stairs should not be confused with steps, which are completely different except in cases where they can conveniently mean the same thing when it suits this article. (more...)
Yesterday's Featured Article - Atheist Alliance of America
The Atheist Alliance of America more commonly known as the AAA, is an American non-profit organization that provides atheistic support for people who have broken down on the highway. The organization defends civil rights and liberties of car owners up and down the country and advances the argument against the fact that God created cars in the state they are today and that instead cars evolved.
The Alliance has 7,500 members in the USA, a pittance equal to the number of people with serious mental illness, which is incidentally the same as the number of supporters of the Tea Party. Most members are trained mechanical engineers and aren't too bothered about the being-an-atheist bit, which has caused a large stir among fundamentalists in the alliance.
The Atheist Alliance of America was founded in the 1950s and so suspiciously coincided with the era of the "Red Scare". Most members of the alliance were immediately labelled as communists and heretics and put to the electric chair by Senator McCarthy for "exercising their right to free speech without God's consent". Those who survived the 1950s carried on the alliance and began training themselves to solve mechanical problems associated with cars.
Many in the atheist alliance disagree with the blatant empirical evidence that the organization was founded in the 1950s and actually believe that the organization was formed 13.77 billion years ago from simple matter and that it therefore has no purpose behind it other than to allow socialists to protest against the American government under a different banner. (more...)
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November 20: Sophia Day
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