Uncyclopedia:Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball

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[[Image:AristocratTurkey01.png|right|250px]]
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__NOTOC__
=='''The BEST of the WORST, or vice versa'''==
+
{{Infobox award
  +
| name = The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball
  +
| current_awards = Uncyclopedia:Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball
  +
| image = AristocratTurkey01.png
  +
| imagesize =
  +
| alt =
  +
| caption = The BEST of the WORST, or vice versa
  +
| description = Bad taste articles and images
  +
| presenter =
  +
| founder = {{u|Mhaille}}
  +
| reward = {{tl|Aristocrat}}
  +
| year = 2007
  +
| year2 = 2010
  +
| holder =
  +
| winner_titles = Turkey Day Ball
  +
| winner_names = [[User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/UnBooks:Fred|UnBooks:Fred]] by {{u|Sockpuppet of an unregistered user}}<br>[[User:Electrified mocha chinchilla/The Aristocraigslist|The Aristocraigslist]] by {{u|Electrified mocha chinchilla}} (tied)
  +
| winner_title1 = Bad Taste Article
  +
| winner_name1 = [[User:Zombiebaron/wip/UnBooks:The Children's Guide to Your First School Shooting|UnBooks:The Children's Guide to Your First School Shooting]] by {{u|Zombiebaron}} & {{u|Sockpuppet of an unregistered user}}<br>[[User:CheddarBBQ/fetus|Uncle John's Fetus Burgers and Abortion Clinic]] by {{u|CheddarBBQ}} (tied)
  +
| winner_title2 = Master Goa Tse
  +
| winner_name2 = [[:File:Chilean miner farm.jpg|Chilean Miner Farm]] by {{u|Bucknut4}}
  +
| preceeded = [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Uncyclopedia:The_Article_Whisperer&oldid=4834168 The Article Whisperer (2010)]
  +
| followed = [[Uncyclopedia:Poo Lit Surprise|Pooh Lit Surprise (January 2011)]]
  +
}}
   
 
===The Competition===
 
===The Competition===
Line 9: Line 9:
 
===Who can enter?===
 
===Who can enter?===
   
Anyone and everyone. All registered members of Uncyclopedia are encouraged to enter as long as they are not judges in the competition. Judges are not allowed to enter the competition as writers. You may enter only once for each category for which you are eligible (one article per category per person). If you wish to collaborate with other eligible contestants, you may do so, but that will count as your one entry in the category. Collaborative efforts will have to decide who is the "team leader," who will house the article on his/her name space and receive the prize if your collaboration wins, at which point (it is assumed) s/he will distribute the winnings among the other members of the team. If a user wishes to enter in more than one category (for which s/he is eligible), s/he is welcome to do so, either collaborating or alone, but may, again, only enter one per category. Two collaborations do not count as one entry; they count as two.
+
Anyone and everyone. All registered members of Uncyclopedia are encouraged to enter as long as they are not judges in the competition. Judges are allowed to enter the competition as writers in categories they are not acting as judges in. You may enter only once for each category for which you are eligible (one article per category per person). If you wish to collaborate with other eligible contestants, you may do so, but that will count as your one entry in the category. Collaborative efforts will have to decide who is the "team leader," who will house the article on his/her name space and receive the prize if your collaboration wins, at which point (it is assumed) s/he will distribute the winnings among the other members of the team. If a user wishes to enter in more than one category (for which s/he is eligible), s/he is welcome to do so, either collaborating or alone, but may, again, only enter one per category. Two collaborations do not count as one entry; they count as two.
   
 
===How does it work?===
 
===How does it work?===
   
As with the PLS competition, compose your work in your user space and submit below the relevant category sections. The competition will remain open for 2 weeks from its start date (in this case on the evening of 26th November), after which the page shall be protected and judging will commence. The results of this will be announced a week following that.
+
As with the PLS competition, compose your work in your user space and submit below the relevant category sections. The competition will remain open for 2 weeks from its start date (in this case on the evening of 19th November), after which the page shall be protected and judging will commence. The results of this will be announced a week following that.
   
 
===Do pieces entered in the competition have to be <u>NEW</u> and <u>ORIGINAL</u>?===
 
===Do pieces entered in the competition have to be <u>NEW</u> and <u>ORIGINAL</u>?===
Line 24: Line 24:
 
===When is the competition held?===
 
===When is the competition held?===
   
Writing starts <big>{{blink|NOVEMBER 26th}}</big> and will last for two weeks. All entries will be locked for judgery at December 11th, 00:00 GMT.
+
Writing starts <big>{{blink|NOVEMBER 19th}}</big> and will last for two weeks. All entries will be locked for judgery on December 3rd, at 00:00 GMT.
   
Judgery will last for a week thereafter. All winners will be announced on the December 18th.
+
<s>Judgery will last for a week thereafter. All winners will be announced on December 10th.</s>
  +
  +
[[Uncyclopedia:Aristocrat's_Turkey_Day_Ball/judging2011|Turkey shit review or something]]
   
 
==The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball==
 
==The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball==
Line 33: Line 33:
 
'''JUDGES:'''
 
'''JUDGES:'''
   
#{{U|The Thinker}}
+
# {{u|Wilytank}}
#{{U|TheLedBalloon}}
+
# {{u|TheSlyFox}}
#{{U|15Mickey20}}
+
# {{u|Lyrithya}}
   
 
'''CONCEPT:'''
 
'''CONCEPT:'''
Line 61: Line 61:
 
'''WINNERS:'''
 
'''WINNERS:'''
 
The contest's winner shall be dubbed '''Uncyclopedia Aristocrat en Regalia''', and receive an honorary template to that effect. First and second runners up shall receive '''Uncyclopedia Aristocrat''' Honoree templates.
 
The contest's winner shall be dubbed '''Uncyclopedia Aristocrat en Regalia''', and receive an honorary template to that effect. First and second runners up shall receive '''Uncyclopedia Aristocrat''' Honoree templates.
  +
  +
===Top 3===
  +
*<big>Aristocrat en Regalia: '''{{U|Black flamingo11}}'''</big>
  +
*First runner up (tie): {{U|Thekillerfroggy}} and {{u|Xamralco}}
   
 
===This Year's Articles===
 
===This Year's Articles===
<!-- Use this template or die in a fire
 
   
 
{|{{prettytable}}
 
{|{{prettytable}}
Line 70: Line 73:
 
|'''Comment'''
 
|'''Comment'''
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|MrN9000}}
+
|{{u|Xamralco}}
|[[User:MrN9000/Pants]]
+
|[[The Aristocrat: Deleted Scenes]]
|Pants. --~~~~
+
|Deleted scenes from the best movie ever.
|-
 
|Same as above
 
|Same as above
 
|Same as above
 
|}
 
 
-->
 
 
===Grand Finale===
 
*<big>'''[[User:So_So/crats]]'''</big>
 
*Tied for 2nd place - [[User:An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/Aristocrats]]
 
*Tied for 2nd place - [[User:Syndrome/crats]]
 
 
 
 
{|{{prettytable}}
 
|'''Username'''
 
|'''Entry'''
 
|'''Comment'''
 
|-
 
|{{U|Kakun}}
 
|[[User:Kakun/The Arichardgoldstonecrats]]
 
|I'm still thinking how to fit some feces in there. --{{User:Kakun/sig}} 20:34, November 27, 2009 (UTC)
 
|-
 
|{{U|PuppyOnTheRadio}}
 
|[[:User:POTR/Fuckwit - English translator|Fuckwit - English translator]]
 
|Back by popular demand. More aristocratic then ever! {{User:POTR/sig}} <!--05:58, 4/12/2009-->
 
|-
 
|{{U|Happytimes}}
 
|[[User:Happytimes/The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball]]
 
|I supposed I could pepper in some profanity, obscenity, debauchery and lewdness in there, but F**k that F*****g W*******d on a Q********s L*******g S**t H*****d. {{User:Happytimes/sig}} 14:15, November 29, 2009 (UTC)
 
|-
 
|{{U|So So}}
 
|[[User:So So/crats]]
 
|Aristocrats backwards is ''starcotsira'' and wearing crotchless panties bent over backwards is ''yo mama''. --{{User:So So/sig}} 13:31, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
 
|-
 
|{{U|Sockpuppet of an unregistered user}}
 
|[[User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/ARISTOCRATS]]
 
|You just wait and see! {{User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/sig4}}<small>''12:51, 2 December 2009''</small>
 
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays}}
+
|{{u|Cat the Colourful}}
|[[User:An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/Aristocrats]]
+
|[[User:Cat the Colourful/My Aristocrat joke|My Artistocrat joke]]
|I went to a very dark place. {{User:An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/sig}} 15:45, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
+
|I hope this is dirty enough?
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|GlobalTourniquet}}
+
|{{u|Black_flamingo11}}
|[[User:GlobalTourniquet/The Aristocrats]]
+
|[[Aristocrats (class)|Aristocrats (class)]]
|priorities...--{{User:GlobalTourniquet/sig}} 00:15, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
+
|An Irishman walks out of a bar.
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|Hey people!}}
+
|{{u|Thekillerfroggy}}
|[[User:Hey people!/Hey people it's The Aristocrats]]
+
|[[User:Thekillerfroggy/The Mementocrats|The Mementocrats]]
|A wholesome family act.--[[User:Hey people!|Hey people!]] 22:23, December 7, 2009 (UTC)
+
|Ugh.
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|Syndrome}}
+
|{{u|Zombiebaron}}
|[[User:Syndrome/crats]]
+
|[[User:Zombiebaron/Family Aristocrat Circus|Family Aristocrat Circus]]
|Now what would you call a service like that? {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 23:31, December 10, 2009 (UTC)
+
|An illustrated guide to the life and times of the famous Aristocrat family.
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|Sockpuppet of an unregistered user}}
+
|{{u|Mr. Fisherman}}
|[[User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/ARISTOCRATS]]
+
|[[User:Mr. Fisherman/Joke of Aristocrat's|Joke of Aristocrat´s]]
|And this time they take over the world. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 00:06, December 11, 2009 (UTC)
+
|Just a waste of time... Or is it?
 
|-
 
|-
  +
|{{u|Shabidoo}}
  +
|[[The Peasant's Dilema]]
  +
|Sweet hot chocolate fudge. Mmmmmmmm.
 
|}
 
|}
   
Line 100: Line 106:
 
'''JUDGES:'''
 
'''JUDGES:'''
   
#[[User:Mhaille|Mhaille]]
+
# {{u|ChiefjusticeDS}}
#[[User:Electrified mocha chinchilla|Electrified mocha chinchilla]]
+
# {{u|Aleister}}
#[[User:RabbiTechno|Rabbi Techno]]
+
# {{u|Matt lobster}}
  +
# {{U|Sockpuppet of an unregistered user}} (Backup judge)
   
 
'''CONCEPT:'''
 
'''CONCEPT:'''
Line 122: Line 128:
   
 
'''WINNERS:''' The contest's winner shall be dubbed Uncyclopedia Aristocrat en Regalia, and receive an honorary template to that effect. First and second runners up shall receive Uncyclopedia Aristocrat Honoree templates.
 
'''WINNERS:''' The contest's winner shall be dubbed Uncyclopedia Aristocrat en Regalia, and receive an honorary template to that effect. First and second runners up shall receive Uncyclopedia Aristocrat Honoree templates.
  +
  +
=== Top 3 ===
  +
*<big>Aristocrat en Regalia (tie): '''{{U|PuppyOnTheRadio}}''' and '''{{u|Shabidoo}}'''</big>
  +
*First runner up: {{U|Thekillerfroggy}}
   
 
===This Year's Articles===
 
===This Year's Articles===
<!-- every time you don't use this template, god huffs a kitten. {|{{prettytable}}
+
{|{{prettytable}}
 
|'''Username'''
 
|'''Username'''
 
|'''Entry'''
 
|'''Entry'''
 
|'''Comment'''
 
|'''Comment'''
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|MrN9000}}
+
|[[User:EpicAwesomeness|EpicAwe]]
|[[User:MrN9000/Pants]]
+
|[[User:EpicAwesomeness/Aborted Fetuses]]
|Pants. --~~~~
+
|Impregnating the history of rock'n'roll.
|-
 
|Same as above
 
|Same as above
 
|Same as above
 
|}
 
 
-->
 
 
===Grand Finale===
 
*<big>'''{{u|Under user}} - [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User:Under_user/Celeb Ich Bin Ein Celebrity Juden, Get Me Out Of Here!]</big>
 
* 2nd - {{u|Zim_ulator}} - [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User:Zim_ulator/Wii_Fisting_Controller Wii Fisting Controller] * Tied for 3rd -{{u|Mahm00shA}} - [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User:Mahm00shA/UnScripts:The_cannibal,_the_necrophile_and_the_coprophagist UnScripts:The cannibal, the necrophile and the coprophagist]
 
* Tied for 3rd - {{u|PuppyOnTheRadio}} - [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User:POTR/Search_for_God Search for God] -
 
 
 
 
{|{{prettytable}}
 
|'''Username'''
 
|'''Entry'''
 
|'''Comment'''
 
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|PuppyOnTheRadio}}
+
|<s>[[User:RAHB|RAHB]]</s>
|[[:User:POTR/Search for God|Search for God]]
+
|<s>[[User:RAHB/Dick Warehouse]]</s>
|Wow - this inspiration stuff is fantastic. I gotta get me some more of this. {{User:POTR/sig}} <!--09:29, 29/11/2009-->
+
|<s>To be written.</s>
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|Sockpuppet of an unregistered user}}
+
|{{u|PuppyOnTheRadio|Pup}}
|[[User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/Obsessive-compulsive vomiting disorder]]
+
|[[Incontinence (philosophy)]]
|It tastes bad, trust me. {{User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/sig4}}<small>''12:53, 2 December 2009''</small>
+
|Any excuse to put together a bunch of shitty jokes
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|Under user|UU}}
+
|{{u|Magic man}}
|[[User:Under_user/Celeb]]
+
|[[User:Magic man/Human gastrointestinal tract]]
|This just popped into my head. I'm now worried about my head.
+
|Any excuse to put together a bunch of shitty jokes *Ba-dum crash*.
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|Mahm00shA|M00fasa}}
+
|{{u|Thekillerfroggy}}
|[[User:Mahm00shA/UnScripts:The cannibal, the necrophile and the coprophagist|The cannibal, the necrophile and the Coprophagist]]
+
|[[User:Thekillerfroggy/Cum Dumpster]]
|I'd like to thank the guy who writes Cannibal Corpse's lyrics for making this possible. {{User:Mahm00shA/sig5}} 00:33, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
+
|Yep.
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|Zim_ulator|reverend zimulator}}
+
|{{u|Featured User}}
|[[User:Zim ulator/Wii Fisting Controller|UnNews:Nintendo introduces Wii Fisting Controller]]
+
|[[User:Featured User/Turkey Coca Cola|Turkey Coca Cola]]
|I don't think I originated the idea, but hopefully it's of sufficient bad taste for The Ball. {{User:Zim_ulator/sig}} 04:22, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
+
|Article about a [[Coca Cola]] variation including meat.
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|Kakun}}
+
|{{u|Shabidoo}}
|[[user:kakun/UnTunes:They R e-Stalk 'Crats]]
+
|[[The things your family doesn't know]]
|I've already done an aristocrats so I put this one here. {{User:Kakun/sig}} 04:22, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
+
|Crepes, Sri Lankan tea, milk jars and tender lamb.
 
|}
 
|}
   
Line 164: Line 174:
 
'''JUDGES:'''
 
'''JUDGES:'''
   
#{{u|Modusoperandi}}
+
#{{u|Joe9320}}
#{{u|Colin "All your base" Heaney}}
+
#{{u|Shabidoo}}
#{{u|Multiliteralist}}
+
#{{u|Black_flamingo11}}
   
 
'''CONCEPT:'''
 
'''CONCEPT:'''
Line 190: Line 200:
 
'''WINNERS:''' The contest's winner shall be dubbed Uncyclopedia Aristocrat en Regalia, and receive an honorary template to that effect. First and second runners up shall receive Uncyclopedia Aristocrat Honoree templates.
 
'''WINNERS:''' The contest's winner shall be dubbed Uncyclopedia Aristocrat en Regalia, and receive an honorary template to that effect. First and second runners up shall receive Uncyclopedia Aristocrat Honoree templates.
   
===This Year's Images===
+
===Top 3===
  +
*<big>Aristocrat en Regalia: '''{{U|Magic man}}'''</big>
  +
*First runner up: {{U|Zombiebaron}}
  +
*<small>Second runner up: {{u|Mimo&maxus}}</small>
  +
  +
====This Year's Images====
 
<!-- Use this template. It's fucking magical. [[Or something]]
 
<!-- Use this template. It's fucking magical. [[Or something]]
   
Line 208: Line 218:
   
 
-->
 
-->
 
===Grand Finale:===
 
*<big>'''[[User:PuppyOnTheRadio]], [[:File:John McEnroe Pong.gif]] '''</big>
 
*[[User:Zana Dark]], [[:File:Paulwalrus.jpg]]
 
*[[User:RAHB]], [[:File:Lolaisaho.png]]
 
 
 
 
{|{{prettytable}}
 
{|{{prettytable}}
|'''Username'''
+
|{{U|Magic man}}
|'''Entry'''
+
|[[File:German-Comics-Page.jpg|300px]]
|'''Comment'''
+
|Comics in 1940's Germany were a bit different from the American ones.
 
|-
 
|-
|{{U|CheddarBBQ}}
+
|{{u|Zombiebaron}}
|[[File:When momy dosent pay.jpg|250px]]
+
|[[File:RacistRapeVan.png|300px]]
|<s>Still to be finished, but I'm working on it..</s> <s>Finished, but now I feel dirty...</s> I'm over it. In fact, I already know what I'm gonna do next year. Wish I could nom two...
+
|<center>My uncle Henry loves to rape.</center>
 
|-
 
|-
|{{u|Necropaxx}}
+
|{{u|Mimo&maxus}}
|[[File:The First Thanksgiving.png|250px]]
+
|[[File:Simpsonshitler.jpg|300px]]
|Surprisingly, several of the natives took ill after sampling Mrs. Bradford's famous home-style smallpox cookies.<br /><br>(Click to enlarge)
+
|Young Adoplh Hitler and his gang teasing a Jew.
|-
 
|{{U|Sockpuppet of an unregistered user}}
 
|[[File:Fire Breathing Turkey.gif|250px]]
 
|I call it "Fire Breathing Turkey, An Impression". {{User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/sig4}}<small>''20:37, 2 December 2009''</small>
 
|-
 
|{{U|PuppyOnTheRadio}}
 
|[[File:John McEnroe Pong.gif|250px]]
 
|John McEnroe, the legendary bad boy of tennis, was one of the first sports stars to sponsor a computer game. '''John McEnroe Pong'''.
 
|-
 
|{{U|RAHB}}
 
|[[File:Lolaisaho.png|250px]]
 
|Bathroom stalls: An innovative and invigorating way to call important and thought-provoking social commentary to attention: Yes. An appropriate place for expressing one's sentimental feelings for a deceased loved-one: '''NO.'''
 
|-
 
|{{U|Zana Dark}}
 
|[[File:paulwalrus.jpg|250px]]
 
|'''[[User:Zana_Dark/sandbox|Coo-Coo Kachoo]]!''' Gesundheit.
 
|-
 
|{{U|Happytimes}}
 
|[[File:Cocker Ring Bearer.gif|250px]]
 
|You can often gauge the penis width of one's lover simply by measuring the circumference of their ''cocker-ring''.<BR><BR>[[Penis Enlargement Techniques|(Click to enlarge.)]]
 
|-
 
|{{U|Joe9320}}
 
|[[File:Goatse candy.jpg|250px]]
 
|The candy that is made from 25% turkey [[Goatse]]. The other 75% is made from Aristocrat's Goatse.
 
|-
 
|{{U|So So}}
 
|[[File:popes.jpg|250px]]
 
|Penis.
 
 
|-
 
|-
 
|}
 
|}
   
==Competition wrap up==
+
It was, as with every year, hot and sweaty, bloody and obscene, tasteless and marvelous. I'd like to thank all the writer,choppers and judges for performing in an outrageous manner. I'd like to thank my parents who brought me here as my car broke down. as soon as I'm back on my computer I'll sort out moving all the crats jokes into a proper location. And until next year, toodaloo and hip hip. {{User:Mordillo/sig3}} 22:31, December 19, 2009 (UTC)
+
[[Category:Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball]]

Latest revision as of 03:21, June 22, 2012

The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball
Uncyclopedia:Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball
The BEST of the WORST, or vice versa
Awarded for Bad taste articles and images
Founder Mhaille
Reward {{Aristocrat}}
First awarded 2007
Last awarded 2010
  Turkey Day Ball   UnBooks:Fred by Sockpuppet of an unregistered user
The Aristocraigslist by Electrified mocha chinchilla (tied)
  Bad Taste Article   UnBooks:The Children's Guide to Your First School Shooting by Zombiebaron & Sockpuppet of an unregistered user
Uncle John's Fetus Burgers and Abortion Clinic by CheddarBBQ (tied)
  Master Goa Tse   Chilean Miner Farm by Bucknut4
Preceeded by The Article Whisperer (2010)
Followed by Pooh Lit Surprise (January 2011)

edit The Competition

What exactly IS The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball? To put it simply it is a festival of frivolity and bad taste, highlighting all those fine, fine contributions we never want to see featured.

edit Who can enter?

Anyone and everyone. All registered members of Uncyclopedia are encouraged to enter as long as they are not judges in the competition. Judges are allowed to enter the competition as writers in categories they are not acting as judges in. You may enter only once for each category for which you are eligible (one article per category per person). If you wish to collaborate with other eligible contestants, you may do so, but that will count as your one entry in the category. Collaborative efforts will have to decide who is the "team leader," who will house the article on his/her name space and receive the prize if your collaboration wins, at which point (it is assumed) s/he will distribute the winnings among the other members of the team. If a user wishes to enter in more than one category (for which s/he is eligible), s/he is welcome to do so, either collaborating or alone, but may, again, only enter one per category. Two collaborations do not count as one entry; they count as two.

edit How does it work?

As with the PLS competition, compose your work in your user space and submit below the relevant category sections. The competition will remain open for 2 weeks from its start date (in this case on the evening of 19th November), after which the page shall be protected and judging will commence. The results of this will be announced a week following that.

edit Do pieces entered in the competition have to be NEW and ORIGINAL?

YES!

Again, just like PLS, any works entered in this competition must be original, and created after the contest's official start date. You'd think this concept would be self-explanatory, but here it is now, in print, for all to see.

Also, pee review is not allowed. All rules pertaining to peer evaluation present in the traditional Poo Lit Surprise writing competition are common here. Just puttin' that out there.

edit When is the competition held?

Writing starts NOVEMBER 19th and will last for two weeks. All entries will be locked for judgery on December 3rd, at 00:00 GMT.

Judgery will last for a week thereafter. All winners will be announced on December 10th.

Turkey shit review or something

edit The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball

JUDGES:

  1. Wilytank
  2. TheSlyFox
  3. Lyrithya

CONCEPT:

The Aristocrats is often lauded as the world's dirtiest joke. But to seasoned purveyors of this joke, it is an opportunity to make the bizarre, grotesque and immoral become a platform for insane hilarity. As we enter this season of blessings-counts and humble pie, this platform seems all-too-perfect for the sick and twisted minds of Uncyclopedia. A beautiful expression of the first amendment in all her Norman Rockwellian glory.

In the contest, editors shall create a subpage in their Userspace solely devoted to their telling of the joke. Length, formatting and delivery are left discretion of the editor. Once the contest commences, a 3-person panel of judges shall elect one winner and two runner-ups.

RULES:

  1. All registered users may submit one (1) entry to the contest.
  2. While portions may overlap, any reproduction of another person's telling of the joke (be they regular people, fellow editors, or comedians such as those seen in The Aristocrats film) is grounds for instant disqualification.
  3. Out of fairness to all participants, users may NOT record audio versions of their work.
  4. Banned or suspended users and/or sock puppet users are ineligible for participation.
  5. Judges are ineligible for participation.

JUDGING:

The 3-person judging panel shall individually score each entry using a specified 1-to-10 scoring template not unlike the one used for Pee Review. The elements in question shall include:

  1. Overall Humor – Judges shall decide this field based on the entry they find the funniest, regardless of other judging fields.
  2. Delivery of Humorous Elements – As the delivery of this joke shall be textual, judges shall decide this field based on their perception of the joke's delivery in this medium.
  3. Use of Obscenity and Profanity – Profanity, obscenity, debauchery and lewdness are inherent elements of The Aristocrat's. However, it is the clever utilization of these elements that determine their effectiveness in conveying the humor of the joke. As such, herein judges shall decide the effectiveness of this field.
  4. Miscellaneous – Points awarded for style, originality, design flourish, etc. depending upon the opinions of the judge.

WINNERS: The contest's winner shall be dubbed Uncyclopedia Aristocrat en Regalia, and receive an honorary template to that effect. First and second runners up shall receive Uncyclopedia Aristocrat Honoree templates.

edit Top 3

edit This Year's Articles

Username Entry Comment
Xamralco The Aristocrat: Deleted Scenes Deleted scenes from the best movie ever.
Cat the Colourful My Artistocrat joke I hope this is dirty enough?
Black_flamingo11 Aristocrats (class) An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Thekillerfroggy The Mementocrats Ugh.
Zombiebaron Family Aristocrat Circus An illustrated guide to the life and times of the famous Aristocrat family.
Mr. Fisherman Joke of Aristocrat´s Just a waste of time... Or is it?
Shabidoo The Peasant's Dilema Sweet hot chocolate fudge. Mmmmmmmm.

edit Best Bad Taste Article

JUDGES:

  1. ChiefjusticeDS
  2. Aleister
  3. Matt lobster
  4. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Backup judge)

CONCEPT:

For articles of inappropriate or offensive subject matter, those deemed to be of "bad taste". Drawing upon many timeless classics, from the gentle subtleties of Holocaust Tycoon, the sensitivity of The Diary of Anne Frank or the information packed knowledge-base that is Anal Glands, this is your chance to join a select genre of quality humour.

RULES:

  1. All registered users may submit one (1) entry to the contest.
  2. Banned or suspended users and/or sock puppet users are ineligible for participation.
  3. Judges are ineligible for participation.

JUDGING:

The 3-person judging panel shall individually score each entry using a specified 1-to-10 scoring template not unlike the one used for Pee Review. The elements in question shall include:

  1. Overall Humour – Judges shall decide this field based on the entry they find the funniest, regardless of other judging fields.
  2. Miscellaneous – Points awarded for style, originality, design flourish, etc. depending upon the opinions of the judge.

WINNERS: The contest's winner shall be dubbed Uncyclopedia Aristocrat en Regalia, and receive an honorary template to that effect. First and second runners up shall receive Uncyclopedia Aristocrat Honoree templates.

edit Top 3

edit This Year's Articles

Username Entry Comment
EpicAwe User:EpicAwesomeness/Aborted Fetuses Impregnating the history of rock'n'roll.
RAHB User:RAHB/Dick Warehouse To be written.
Pup Incontinence (philosophy) Any excuse to put together a bunch of shitty jokes
Magic man User:Magic man/Human gastrointestinal tract Any excuse to put together a bunch of shitty jokes *Ba-dum crash*.
Thekillerfroggy User:Thekillerfroggy/Cum Dumpster Yep.
Featured User Turkey Coca Cola Article about a Coca Cola variation including meat.
Shabidoo The things your family doesn't know Crepes, Sri Lankan tea, milk jars and tender lamb.

edit The Master Goa Tse Award for Digital Imagery

Give thanks or else
QUALITY images only please!

JUDGES:

  1. Joe9320
  2. Shabidoo
  3. Black_flamingo11

CONCEPT:

This category is designed to highlight images that, although are painfully funny, inspire the viewer with the desire to spork out their eyes due to guilt and self loathing at finding them amusing. As with the other categories this is NOT about shock or gore images, it is primarily about well crafted imagery that may just happen to press the wrong buttons.

RULES:

  1. All registered users may submit one (1) entry to the contest.
  2. All pictures must be original to the author in some way, either 'chopped to some degree, done entirely by the author, or be otherwise edited in some meaningful way. Basically, don't steal other people's images. You've been warned.
  3. Banned or suspended users and/or sock puppet users are ineligible for participation.
  4. Judges are ineligible for participation.

JUDGING:

The 3-person judging panel shall individually score each entry using a specified 1-to-10 scoring template not unlike the one used for Pee Review. The elements in question shall include:

  1. Overall Humour – Judges shall decide this field based on the entry they find the funniest, regardless of other judging fields.
  2. Quality - Just how well made IS the image?
  3. Cleverness - Points are awarded for creativity, for well thought out images.
  4. Miscellaneous – Points awarded for style, originality, design flourish, etc. depending upon the opinions of the judge.

WINNERS: The contest's winner shall be dubbed Uncyclopedia Aristocrat en Regalia, and receive an honorary template to that effect. First and second runners up shall receive Uncyclopedia Aristocrat Honoree templates.

edit Top 3

edit This Year's Images

Magic man German-Comics-Page Comics in 1940's Germany were a bit different from the American ones.
Zombiebaron RacistRapeVan
My uncle Henry loves to rape.
Mimo&maxus Simpsonshitler Young Adoplh Hitler and his gang teasing a Jew.
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