Uncyclopedia:Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball/judging2011

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Place your judgery for the Turkey Ball here. Please list your top 5 articles, in order, best article starting at 1. Remember, the deadline for results is by the end of December 10th. If you cannot complete judging before this deadline, please let us know on the talk page.

Scoring system based on judges' top fives will go as follows:

5 points for #1
4 points for #2
3 points for #3
2 points for #4
1 point for #5

edit The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball

edit Final Scores

  1. Black flamingo11 - 12
  2. Thekillerfroggy - 9
  3. Xamralco - 9
  4. Shabidoo - 8
  5. Zombiebaron - 4
  6. Cat the Colourful - 2

edit Judgery

1: Aristocrats (class) - Black flamingo has been a favorite of mine in past competition. This continues his somewhat legacy.
2: The Peasant's Dilema - Sweet chocolate confections.
3: The Aristocrat: Deleted Scenes - Rodney Dangerfield
4: The Mementocrats - I'm not sure I totally understand this, but it's got more meaninful content that what's not above it on this list.
5: Family Aristocrat Circus - meh


Using the given template, the scores are listed as follows: Overall humor / Delivery / Obscenity / Style and formatting, all scores being out of ten. The overall score is a mathematical average of these numbers.

1: The Mementocrats: 8.5/9.8/10/9 = 9.325
Symbol comment vote Comments: Very nice, indeed. I love retrospects that tell a very dark story in reverse. I have to say the overall lewdness is perfect for an aristocrats joke. To summarize, it is not so much funny as it is enlightening.
2: Aristocrats (class): 9.5/10/9/8.5 = 9.25
Symbol comment vote Comments: Fantastic! Telling the joke from the perspective of an article on the social class of the aristocrats is ingenious. The escalating profanity works very well--I was nearly gagging at the end. Its only weak point is that it seems to be missing a "pre-conclusion" section that would come before "The Aristocrats!" section at the end.
3: The Peasant's Dilema: 8.5/8.5/8.5/10 = 8.875
Symbol comment vote Comments: The giant match at the end was simply brilliant. Overall, it's an excellent entry. It does appear somewhat unfinished, especially with "End of Part 1" added on at the end, however it actually stands on its own remarkably well. Should it ever materialize, I am truly looking forward to reading Part 2.
4: My Artistocrat joke: 9/9.5/9/6 = 8.375
Symbol comment vote Comments: Simply put, it's very well done. A very original take on the joke, especially the ending! It just looks rough in the formatting department, though. A picture would work wonders on it.
5: The Aristocrat: Deleted Scenes: 7.9/8/7/10 = 8.225
Symbol comment vote Comments: I really like the James Joyce and Rodney Dangerfield entries, and though the priest is going to hate me for saying this, the blatant irreverence of the Bible entry is superb. The Jeff Foxworthy and Jeff Dunham entries are just a tad bit predictable; dare I say they "play it safe" for the Aristocrats. Overall, it just seems a little tame for the subject. Top marks for style, though!

The following entries are non-ranking. I have included them here for curiosity's sake.

*: Family Aristocrat Circus: 8/8/7/8 = 7.75
Symbol comment vote Comments: Definitely our silliest entry here, which is great because I love silliness. It just feels a bit unfinished from how short it is. There just doesn't seem to be enough here to give it the highest marks.
*: Joke of Aristocrat´s: 4/4/5/3 = 4.00
Symbol comment vote Comments: Ummmm... It looks rather unfinished... Yeah, sorry about that. ^_^
-- Tinypony Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. 13:02 December 9, 2011 (UTC)


  1. The Aristocrats, the Deleted Scenes
    Symbol comment vote Comments: Decent; no idea who most of these are, but seems appropriate or something. Although if these were deleted, then what were the things not deleted?
  2. Aristocrats (class)
    Symbol comment vote Comments: Appears to be brimming with jokes, in more ways than one, and the presentation is overall good. Some wordage and syntax oddities, though, and could use more consistency between sections, especially with India; the telling is quite different here.
  3. Family Aristocrat Circus
    Symbol comment vote Comments: This explains much. Funny thing is, though, it seems almost too tastefully-done. Lists, though, mon. Lists...
  4. The Mementocrats
    Symbol comment vote Comments: Tells it in a different order than usual, which is a nice change, but the fact that the only jokes seem to be at the very beginning and the very end make me somewhat wonder what the rest is even for.
  5. The Peasant's Dilema
    Symbol comment vote Comments: Visually, this thing could use a little fixing - the spacing of some things is a bit off, and the placement of the chocolates seems quite random, so I´m not sure what you´re after there. Prose could also be more fluid, and what I told Cat about dialogue stands, but that´s easily fixable... story itself is fairly well-told, but doesn´t seem to do much that´s all that special-like.

Non-placing entries:

  • My Aristocrat joke
    Symbol comment vote Comments: Tells it fairly well, but it´s pretty predictable and doesn´t do anything I haven´t seen before. Also, new lines of dialogue really should get new paragraphs.
  • Joke of Aristocrat's
    Symbol comment vote Comments: Two things: One, don´t pluralise things with apostrophes. Just don´t. Two, Chuck Norris?

There. Ordered by orderisation. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 17:55, 9 December 2011

edit Best Bad Taste Article

edit Final Scores

  1. Shabidoo - 12
  2. PuppyOnTheRadio - 12
  3. Thekillerfroggy - 11
  4. Featured User 5
  5. Magic man - 4
Didn't I intentionally change my votes to avoid ties? At Puppy's request no less... Oh well, I guess he'll just have to suck up and learn to accept his victory. : ) Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:45, 15 December 2011
Basically that. Suck it up, Puppy. --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 17:27, December 15, 2011 (UTC)
I'm sucking as we speak. Pup 11:44 15 Dec '11
What are you up sucking? --ShabiDOO 23:50, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

edit Judgery

1:User:Shabidoo/The things your family doesn't know - I was absolutely appalled as I read this one and therein lies its appeal for this category, so disgustingly overdone that it ensures it will be funny and that it will never be featured.
2:User:PuppyOnTheRadio/Incontinence (philosophy) - Decent work from POTR, well up to his normal standard, couldn't help feeling that there isn't very much to this one though, what's there is excellent I just wish there was a bit more of it.
3:User:Featured User/Turkey Coca Cola - Not a bad effort, the laughs take a little while to become fully apparent and at times there is a bit of a trek between jokes. The idea of submitting an article about something that tastes bad to the bad taste category did amuse me whether you meant it or not, but after the competition concludes, so will the appeal of such a joke.
4:User:Thekillerfroggy/Cum Dumpster - I get what you were doing here, but the jokes didn't appeal to me in the way I think they were supposed to. There are some moments of excellence in it, the first image and caption for instance, but the rest of it just didn't tickle me in the way it would need to if it were to score higher. Sorry mate.
5:User:Magic man/Human gastrointestinal tract - I was eating my breakfast when I read this one. Fuck you Magic man. Also there isn't much substance to it; a quick preamble then some images, I'd much prefer some more prose perhaps explaining the functions of each one in as disgusting way as you possibly could, perhaps bar the second to last one which really needs no explanation. Pictures are funny, but a few jokes about the pictures are funnier still.

In terms of EpicAwesomeness's article I can't really judge it as it is clearly unfinished, a shame as it has potential in its current form. --Chiefjustice32X 10:24, December 7, 2011 (UTC)

  • Judge #2:
1:User:PuppyOnTheRadio/Incontinence (philosophy) - A great angle and brilliant prose overcome the suspicion that maybe this was originally going to be longer. I laughed the most at this.
2:User:Thekillerfroggy/Cum Dumpster - The tone in this article is suitably off-colour. It made me feel mildly ill throughout. The prose was tight and twisty, with well captioned, well used pictures.
3:User:Shabidoo/The things your family doesn't know - This certainly dived head first into distressing depravity with an abandon of impressive/worrying spectacle. The pictures, captions and general presentation are a nice striking and effective contrast to the prose.
4:User:Magic man/Human gastrointestinal tract - A visual feast. Made me feel something like unpleasant. The idea works well and delivers a shock ending. Does seem like it's a little derivative though.
5:User:Featured User/Turkey Coca Cola - I didn't really get the concept of the joke. I'm not sure whether there was supposed to be more to it than just the randomness. That said, there were some nice moments.

mAttlobster. (hello) 18:37, December 8, 2011 (UTC)

1 with 5 points:User:Thekillerfroggy/Cum Dumpster - Great article.
1.5 with 4.5 points:User:Shabidoo/The things your family doesn't know - Just wonderful.
3.5 with 2.5 points:User:PuppyOnTheRadio/Incontinence (philosophy) - Very nice, but could use a bit more content.
4.5 with 1.5 points: User:Magic man/Human gastrointestinal tract and User:Featured User/Turkey Coca Cola tied - Both are nice articles. While the former has a lot of distastefulness to it and not a lot of non-image content, the latter would do better with more graphic distastefulness.
And finally: User:EpicAwesomeness/Aborted Fetuses - Promising, but unfinished.
Gotta avoid ties... Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:25, 11 December 2011

edit The Master Goa Tse Award for Digital Imagery

edit Final Scores

  1. Magic man - 14
  2. Zombiebaron - 12
  3. Mimo&maxus - 11
  4. Flamingo - A hat
  5. Spike - 18 halves of a third

edit Judgery

  • Judge #1: Joe the Burninator (Death to Nazism; I shit on the Nazi swastika! Hail Goa Tse!)
1: Magic man's "Comics in 1940's Germany were a bit different from the American ones."
2: Mimo&maxus' "Hitler teasing a Jew, circa 1935".
3: Zombiebaron's excuse for a photoshop, aka "My uncle loves to rape".
4: Black_flamingo11's excuse for not putting his photoshopped image in the competition.
5: "Joe9320's "Peeing guy peeing on the body of Hitler".
1: Zombiebaron - excuse for a photoshop
Although in terms of funniness I would probably put it on a par with Magic man's, history abhors a tie; so this one just about wins out for its superior craft and aesthetic flair. Sorry Magic!
2: Magic man - German-Comics-Page
It's pretty funny but a lot of the text looks obviously tacked-on.
3: Mimo&maxus - Simpsonshitler
The photoshopping is very obvious on this, which doesn't exactly help what is already a fairly confusing picture. Why The Simpsons? How is this "bad taste"? A good effort but not a winner in my opinion. Sorry!
4: Black_flamingo11 - Me, facefucking Mortitia Adams
Very... stimulating.
5:

--Black Flamingo 20:55, December 7, 2011 (UTC)

1: Magic man's "Comics in 1940's Germany were a bit different from the American ones." It probably took a lot of work to find the comics that could be used in your entry and to come up with various offensive Nazi jokes to fill up the text boxes. I agree with BF that the text in the speech bubles look contrived rather than natural. I also couldn't read the "gas bill" square, even when I magnified the screen but I could guess what it was probably saying. The "nice talking to you line probably should have had word "nice" hilighted or have had the word "too" slapped on at the end for a better dialogue flow. The cartoon strip with the biggest dialogue disparity is in the garfield strip. You retained dialogue from the original cartoon and added dialogue in a different font. It might have been a better idea to have retyped the original dialogue in the font you were using (unless you were going for a "its obvious i added new text here" look.) Hilter invades poland was the simplest and for me the best. Te text could have been angled along with the angle of the television. In any case ... some very funny moments and a good job. You certainly showed restraint while making these comics as Nazi jokes can easily (and often do) become offensive just for offensives sake. It probably would have been totally amazing if the strips all told a story in sequence. In any case ... good work ... you win. I'd recommend trying that out (creative a narrative over several different comic strips). You're first!
2 (tie): Mimo&maxus' "Hitler teasing a Jew, circa 1935". I have to give a lot of applause for cute and whasky creativity. I also agree with BF the photoshopping job here is fairly obvious. Putting Krustys father (is that him?) was a pretty mediochre photoshoping) and I wonder if you could have just put a jewish hat ontop of the original character (though im not sure who that was). Im also not sure if you added the hitler mustache or not. As BF said...the concept is weak (not that its a bad concept) it does feel like somethings missing. With the jewish character smiling it makes the nazi abuse seem rather weak. It probably took a while to get the swastica bands at different angles. Cute scenario and not horrible work gets you tied for second place.
2 (tie): Zombiebaron's excuse for a photoshop. I don't know if there is some hidden humour in here ... or if this references something else ... sorry if I am missing that. I found the concept funny ... and the extra offensive writing on the van really funny. What I dont get is the horrible photoshopping of the uncle on the vehicle. It seems like if you had have put a far less obviously photoshopped face that this would have been helarious. Or if you added a nice smiling family having a BBQ that the contrast would have equalled "helarious". Was the bad photoshopping on purpose?
The choice of van was good witht he scrathes and windowless back. The text on the van seems realistic (until a closer look where there is no cut in the letters where the door lines disect it. I cant tell if the scooter was from the same original image as the van ... so good job if you photoshopped that in. The uncle image was a good choice IMHO as he has a gross freaky look to him. However it looks totally out of place with the rest of the image, it has a white halo around it and he doesnt seem to have any leggs. Not sure if that was done for a particular reason.
Were you short on time? Having seen your other images ... I know that you can put together some killer stuff ... so either you were going for a cheesy looking effect or theres something here I don't get. In any case ... you're tied with Mimo for second. Rock and roll!
4: Black_flamingo11 Your non image entry was much better than SPIKE's. Fourth place.
5: SPIKE WTF? Seriously SPIKE I mean WTF were you thinking? Your non-image entry was beyond offensive. It was a direct attack on the very soul of going too far. There's crossing the line and then there is raping and murdering the line just so you can rape and murder something. Unfortunately the damage is done. I hope ... in the future ... you will submit non-entries that don't make us all completely seem bad? Seriously WTF? --ShabiDOO 02:16, December 8, 2011 (UTC)
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