Uncyclopedia:Arbitrary Committee Elections December 2006/Candidate statements

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This is the page for candidate statements from those wishing to run in the December 2006 ArbCom elections. Anyone with a good pair of sneakers may run; others may hop on one foot.

  • Statements should be less than 40 words although candidates are free to link to a longer statement should they so wish.
  • Statements will be accepted until the beginning of World War III.
  • Statements should be listed in order of the user's height minus the square root of their social security number, and in the following format (bonus points for speaking in rhyme, alliteration or aaaaa):

Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,
ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul. 

[[/Questions for Arbcom Candidate/]]

edit Candidate statements

edit Tom mayfair (TalkContribs (del)EditcountBlock (rem-lst-all)LogsGroups)

Because. SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 18:24, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

edit Spang (TalkContribs (del)EditcountBlock (rem-lst-all)LogsGroups)

I call lead arbitrator. That's just the way it is, so don't be a hater. Spang talk 18:49, 26 Nov 2006

edit Dawg (TalkContribs (del)EditcountBlock (rem-lst-all)LogsGroups)

I would make a far better leader. I'll give everyone cookies, rabies, and booze (after they get rabies) too. Dawg.gif » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 18:59, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

edit Mhaille (TalkContribs (del)EditcountBlock (rem-lst-all)LogsGroups)

If elected I shall be a fair and just ruler, smiling benevolently open you, the minions of Uncyclopedia. The day of my election will be marked by a public holiday, and the redistribution of Dawg's cookies and booze to the voting public. Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me) 19:32, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

edit Nintendorulez (TalkContribs (del)EditcountBlock (rem-lst-all)LogsGroups)

I can keep a cool head in heated debates, and think things through logically to come to a rational solution to solve disputes. And I'll fucking cut anyone who disagrees with me. --User:Nintendorulez 20:48, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

Seems like a pretty level-headed guy, he's got my vote come December. Tompkinssig Smallturtle t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 20:50, 26 November 2006 (UTC)
Candidacy withdrawn. --User:Nintendorulez 16:55, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

edit Todd_Lyons (TalkContribs (del)EditcountBlock (rem-lst-all)LogsGroups)

I've been acting arbitrarily in a purely informal capacity for some time now, so it only seems fitting that I receive an official mandate from the masses to continue to do what I'd ordinarily be doing anyway, regardless of any of the ignorable policies or indeed even anyone's opinion, and getting away with it due to the commonly held misconception that I'm a really nice person with everyone's interests at heart.

Plus, I like to write in really long sentences that often confuse stupid people, but make me appear to be much more intelligent than I really am. Word, homies. That is all.

Except for the fact that I'm the only one of the candidates that read the bit about using 3rd level headings, and had to reformat the blather of everyone else who wrote first. That is all.  :) ~ Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 20:52, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

You're such a showoff. ^_^ SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle 21:01, 26 November 2006 (UTC)
Busted. :) ~ Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 21:11, 26 November 2006 (UTC)
I read it, but chose to ignore it. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Sorry, arguments are capped at 40 words. Does this make you disqualified, or what is it? Penalty box? Something, anyway... --User:Nintendorulez 01:56, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
Neither. The wording above says "should be" not "must be". And as a wise man once said, "I read it, but chose to ignore it." :) ~ Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 02:39, 28 November 2006 (UTC)

edit Jamtrousers (TalkContribs (del)EditcountBlock (rem-lst-all)LogsGroups)

Because I'm bored right now. Oh, and all the other candidates are gay, and voting for them would make you gay as well. D'you think your street cred can really take that kind of a blow? (Heehee, blow...) --Sir Jam 21:16, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

I love you, and your sticky pants. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Oh, my! (Or Mhaille, ahaha) <fans self with hand in a flustered manner> Not here! --Sir Jam 21:49, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

edit Elvis (TalkContribs (del)EditcountBlock (rem-lst-all)LogsGroups)

Because as soon as I'm elected I promise to disapear for long periods of time, only returning to troll twek the noses of some of our more pompouse users, who refuse to let go.--The Right Honourable Maj Sir Elvis UmP KUN FIC MDA VFH Bur. CM and bars UGM F@H (Petition) 22:49, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

edit Jtaylor1 (TalkContribs (del)EditcountBlock (rem-lst-all)LogsGroups)

Because as dictator, all of BENSON forums will burn in Hell. Martian Law will be declared on Uncyclopedia. Spybots will be placed on rogue user pages in the name of Big Brother. A new Uncyclopedia Constitution will replace uncyclopedia policies. Under this new totalitarian autocracy, hate speech and religion will be unlawful. --Jtaylor1Small Egg 15:06, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

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