- 903 BC - The Game spins itself into existence and makes you LOSE!
- 1399 - Burt Lancaster deposed Richard Burton to become Henry IV, King of England.
- 1452 - First printed book, the Johann Gutenberg Bible followed closely by The Girls of Gutenberg Press and The Gutenberg Bible, lingerie edition.
- 1677 - Lol-iday was first proclaimed on the planet of Italy.
- 1679 - The last occurance of Lol-iday, due to the forced slavery of the Umpalepuanians by Caesar.
- 1702 - First all female orgy is held in Greece.
- 1813 - Battle of Bárbula: Simón Bolívar defeats Santiago Bobadilla in a drunken knife fight.
- 1890 - HMS Bounceout, the first underwater vessel to be powered entirely on Orange juice was launched.
- 1911 - Sir Barnabas Poleaxe discovers Belgium
- 1924 - World Snooker Championship played in New York for the first time, Stock Market crashes afterward.
- 1925 - Ski-jumping was born in Lithuania.
- 1939 - Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin get caught in a Chinese thumb-trap. Reconsider global strategy and make pact of non-agression accordingly.
- 1941 - Adolf and Joe free themselves from the thumb-trap after exactly two years. Decide ass-kicking is on the cards again.
- 1947 - The World Series, featuring New York Yankees and the Brooklyn Dodgers, is televised for the first time.
- 1949 - The Berlin Airlift ends after millions of cubic feet of air were successfully transported to Berlin.
- 1955 - James Dean gets drunk, tries to get in a knife fight with oncoming car.
- 1984 - After Earths Transit of Mars The African Republic Upper Volta Changes it's name to Mars Volta
- 1986 - The Welsh are scientifically proven to be Charles Darwin's missing link
- 2000 - Lol-iday is celebrated in Paris. Rioting ensues.
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