September 29th: International Talk Like a 12th Century Finnish Cobbler Day
- 4004 BC - Adam and Eve work out that nudity is no longer fashionable. (pictured)
- 2987 BC - The Almighty Creator of the Universe steps away from the podium momentarily, and returns to find his most beloved followers enslaved to cat-worshipping pyramid fetishists.
- 1939 - The inaugural Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competition is held in Rome; Japanese Emperor Hirohito defeats Adolf Hitler by a slim margin due to Hitler's insistence on adding sauerkraut to each hot dog.
- 1973 - Forrest Gump visits the White House.
- 1991 - Primitive internet customers experience the first cases of regret after clicking hyperlinks, as images of a man with years of experience behind him circulate.
- 2004 - The asteroid 4179 Toutatis debates with itself about whether the Solar system really needs earth.