The Beginning - The Great FSM creates all that is, including his chosen people, the Pirates. According to Foodism, Chuck Norris fought with Super Fertile Man, the man with ifinite balls and Chuck Norris's only true rival, both martialy and in bed. the massive amounts of cum sprayed to try to destroy each other and the masive amount of energy from the orgasms combine to create the universe. The first beings to come from the new universe's giant vagina, impregnated by her fathers, are the gods. This is in the R rated version of Foodism, not the one commonly whorshiped. for the record, i am the founder of foodism. if you wish to discuss it, don't contact me at all. you may not make an article about foodiam, only i can. you can convert to foodim and be baptised in a giant pool of food and drink, and sacrifice your first born child to the food gods (do not take this part seriously).
2006 - with the War on Terror becoming increasingly bogged down in Iraq and Afghanistan, President Bush considers shifting focus to a War on Pirates.
2006- Patch-Eyed Pete is fined $100,000 for using a pirated emotiocon in 1982.
2008- Due to the unpopularity of his administration, George W. Bush is forced to "walk the plank." The outraged Right Wing Naval Forces (RWNF)stage an attack on the District of Columbia from their base in Wasila, Alaska, resulting in the Battle of Stupid Pirate Catchphrases