Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 8

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October 8: International Best Inventions Ever Day

  • 4004 BC - God invents breasts
  • 4003 BC - Pornography is invented. There is no war for the next thousand years.
  • 4002 BC - Lesbian porn is invented. The first case of carpal tunnel is documented.
  • 5996 BC - Lotion is invented.
  • 2600 BC - Mayans invent chocolate
  • 2650 BC - Orgasm is invented by The French.
  • 2700 BC - Master Bei-Shun spreads the "Art of Masturbation".
  • 500 - Germans invent beer
  • 1234 - Handgun is invented. This later inspires the invention of real guns.
  • 1890 - Oscar Wilde invents Uncyclopedia
  • 1921 - Americans invent bacon cheeseburger
  • 1949 - Danes create Lego
  • 1952 - Deep fried spam invented
  • 1958 - Segway invented in Paris. Rioting ensues.
  • 1959 - Rioting invented.
  • 1963 - Hippies invent Free Love
  • 1964 - Hippies sell free love for pot.
  • 1979 - Victoria's Secret Catalogue introduced. This is followed days later by a worldwide lotion shortage.
  • 1984 - Wales invents the cheese and ham toastie, it is made their national dish. Students rejoice.
  • 1993 - Scientologists revolted. Nobody cared.
  • 1998 - Monkey butlers invented, but those damn PETA activists won't let us have any.
  • 2006 - Royal Canadian Air Force invents Air-to-Segway missile.
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