Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 26

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• 13,775,000,000 B.C. - God farts, thus creating time.
• 1492 - Christopher Columbus invents herpes to pass the time on tedious transatlantic voyages.
• 1822 - The Rock discovers the secret to time travel, goes back in time to kill Hitler, only to realize Hitler wasn't born yet.
• 1917 - The first Lifetime limited warranty is created when Congress passes the Broken Stamp Act of 1917.
• 1921 - Highlander comes forward a billion years and impales Sean Connery on a parking meter.
• 1944 - Albert Einstein and Nikola Tesla invent a time machine by accident. They travel to 1996 and meet Elton John, The Spice girls and Bill Clintons Cigar. They promptly return home, dismantle the time machine and deny it ever happened. It has become known amongst Conspiracy Theorists as the Philadelphia Experiment
• 1946 - Enjoy whale meat day (Japan)
• 1969 - The 69 sex position is invented
• 1980 - The 1981 DMC DeLorean, which is later used as a time machine, is released.
• 1985 - Dr. Emmett Brown invents a time machine out of a DeLorean
• 1988 - Bill and Ted build a time machine out of a phone booth.
• 1988 - Pre-Emo angsty teenage outsider, Donnie Darko, avoids being killed by a time-traveling jet engine by sleeping on a golf course.
• 1988 - Pre-Emo angsty teenage outsider, Donnie Darko, is killed by a time-traveling jet engine.
• 1992 - Ceiling Cat First visits the White House, watches Al Gore masturbate, and promptly leaves. Vice President Gore later beleives that this was his first encouter with Manbearpig. Manbearpig was actually in the hedges outside the window, fleeing from a time-traveling jet engine.
• 1994 - First Time Cop trained; turns into serial killer, but accidently destroys own grandmother, creating a paradox
• 1996 - The less popular 96 sex position is invented
• 1999 - The 99 sex position is invented. Wait -- How does that work?
• 2000 - It is discovered that Rosa Parks was actually a middle-aged caucasian man named Hank.
• 2001 - First Time Traveller's Convention Held in New York. No future being reported.
• 2003 - Goverment develops a time machine, George W. Bush travels to the past to party with his past self.
• 2006 - Some angsty teenager has an internal conflict with herself about stuff only Col. Sherman Potter and his son Harry Potter would understand.
• 2011 - Barack Obama invents a time machine to go back and prevent George W. Bush from becoming president. He is shot by Dick Cheney.
• 2015 - Dr. Emmett Brown discovers that Marty McFly Jr. has been arrested for participation in an armed robbery after travelling 30 years into the future.