Feast of Saint Roger ( October 19: Estonia). Feast of rogering saints ( Bulgaria).
24 - Saint Roger invites his chums to his residence, Gobblewood Mansion, and holds a feast.
26 - Saint Roger gets raped by Hillbillies while on holiday in Bulgaria
1161 - The first trout was launched into space by the ruskies, onboard Stenchpotski 12.
1297 - Someone, somewhere, goes to the lavatory.
1349 - Postmen all over England suffer the Sack Death.
1492 - Christopher Columbus sings the blues.
1607 - Elizabeth I of England rises from the dead as a zombie- then dies again of a bad cold.
1704 - Nokia renames itself Bobcom.
1734 - Bobcom renames itself Fredphone.
1764 - Fredphone renames itself Kings Cross Talk.
1824 - Kings Cross Talk renames itself Londres Compagnie de la Télécommunications.
1854 - Londres Compagnie de la Télécommunications renames itself London-Telekommunikation-Gesellschaft.
1884 - London-Telekommunikation-Gesellschaft renames itself Retford Phone Company.
1914 - Retford Phone Company renames itself Nokia.
1925 - Nokia Phone Company renames itself Phil the lovable huggable drunkard, but then decides that it projects a negative image on their homeless phone subscribers, so they change back.
1973 - Pfft is created and every word in the dictionary is thusforth removed for the rest of eternity. Except for one word. Pfft.
1983 - 34 Nazis decide to hold a square dance, which result in a whole new line of trousers being released.
1990 - Toasters take over the internets messaging services. Ovens are taken in for questioning.
2004 - Nokia renames itself NO CIA, and starts a nuclear war.
2007 - While visiting Chicago, President George W. Bush is assassinated, following an economic speech at the Chicago Sheraton Hotel, in front of which an anti-war rally was being held. Noted pedophile John Mark Karr is later arrested for the murder, but is himself killed by a distraught Don King before the case can go to trial.