Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 14

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Punching Carrottop

October 14: National Hit an Annoying Person in the Head Day

  • 1066 - William the Conqueror punches Harold Godwinson in the head at the Battle of Hastings.
  • 1922 - A man is punched in the head after he uses the elevator to ride a single floor instead of taking the stairs opposite the elevators.
  • 1985 - New York is the first state that allows the state troopers to pull over slow drivers and then smack them 'upside the head'.
  • 1992 - Entire Royal Family of Britain smacked 'upside the head'.
  • 1999 - A PC spits a CD out of its CD-ROM drive, hitting Bill Gates in the head. This is the first confirmed instance of artificial intelligence.
  • 2001 - George Dubya smacked in the head with a whiffleball bat. The attacker is not apprehended, but leaves behind a number of pamphlets about global warming.
  • 2002 - Fran Drescher hit in the head with a large halibut. Fortunately, the halibut is unharmed.
  • 2003 - George of the Jungle was captured by a nearby tree, which promptly clubbed him in the head. Apparently the tree was meditating when George's distracting collisions occurred.
  • 2004 - Subway's Jared Fogle was knocked unconscious when struck in the face with a stale foot-long loaf of Italian Herbs-'n'-Cheese Bread. As a result, Jared endured several painful operations to remove razor-sharp breadcrumbs and flakes of oregano which are lodged deep in his sinuses.
  • 2009 - Someone hits an annoying person with a stick 9 times.
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