October 11: Flightless Bird Awareness Day

  • 1581 - Dodos are encountered by the Portuguese. The birds are celebrated for their comical antics and large drumsticks.
  • 1809 - Famed explorer Meriwether Lewis dies of a gunshot wound. Although it is generally believed to be a suicide, others note that suspicious-looking kiwis were seen lurking in the area.
  • 1850 - University of Sydney opens, offering degrees in emu ranching and cassowary wrangling.
  • 1895 - A staging of Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest is disrupted when an ostrich is accidentally let into the theater. Wilde clubs the bird into submission with his shoe.
  • 1923 - Scientists prove there are no penguins at the North Pole, wonder why.
  • 1942 - Penguin punting is invented in New Zealand due to war-time rationing of sports equipment.
  • 1958 - The Penguin chocolate bar is invented; Kit Kat is infuriated.
  • 1975 - Saturday Night Live debuts with an emperor penguin as guest host.
  • 1977 - Rod Hull is exposed as a puppet for the Emu Liberation Front.
  • 1989 - McDonald's introduces the Ostrich McNugget.
  • 1998 - The Ostrich McNugget is reported to be a tasty non-greasy supplement by Wikipedia. Shows what they know...
  • 2004 - McDonald's introduces the Emperor Penguin Deluxe Kids Meal, with 98% penguin meat. Kids want moa.
  • 2012 - The Penguin Armies of Doom rise up and overthrow humanity.
  • 2013 - Soylent green is rediscovered.