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November 8: Erectional Pleasure Day
- 1000000 BC - On the plains of Africa, the Australopithecus encounters an eerie black monolith, and for the first time in history, stands erect. Moments later, with "Also sprach Zarathustra" blaring in the background, the Australopithecus realizes his hands are now free, and begins to experiment with tool use. If you know what I mean.
- 2059 BC - Taj Mahal, "Man's greatest erection for a woman" built in India.
- 1173 - The leaning tower of Pisa gives the first sign of its famous erectile dysfunction problem.
- 1889 - Eiffel Tower erected, giving pleasure to all Parisians. Rioting ensues
- 1895 - Wilhelm Conrad Röntgen discovers x-ray specs.
- 1901 - Washington Monument erected as a reminder to all american men that their penis is more important than diplomacy
- 1923 - Joey gets a new Erector Set. He receives pleasure from it.
- 1972 - Man gets first erection on the Moon.
- 1973 – The right ear of John Paul Getty III is delivered to a newspaper together with a ransom note, convincing his father to pay 2.9 million USD. For some strange reason gives Getty Jr. a hard on.
- 1989 - Terrorist organization Hamas superglues a 8 foot fake rubber crocodile to the Wailing Wall sparking outrage.
- 1993 - The Louvre celebrates its 2nd birthday, and the Glass Pyramid is opened. Pleasure is provided throughout France. Rioting ensues.
- 2004 – War in Iraq: More than 10,000 U.S. troops and a small number of Iraqi army units participate in a siege on the insurgent stronghold of Fallujah. Dick Cheney pops major wood.
- 2006 - World declares national holiday as men of every race and religion appreciate their erection. Lesbians are outraged. Gays celebrate through an ancient Gay dance.
- 2006 - Grand Canyon joins lesbians in outrage.
- 2006 - Mount Everest gets very excited.