- 1000000 BC - Food invented.
- 999999 BC - The first feast to celebrate food is held.
- 999999 BC - First indigestion victim recorded. More soon to follow.
- 999999 BC- Oscar Wilde invents fat people
- 999998 BC - First recorded case of Anorexia.
- 999998 BC - The second feast to celebrate food is held.
- 999997 BC - The third feast ends in tragedy due to a lack of food. It is decided that all other feasts will be with babies
- 999996 BC - Babies are eaten for the fourth feast
- 999980 BC - Thus ends the civilization of the baby eaters
- 1009 BC - First recorded case of anime-character-fangirlism.
- 1095 - Pope Urban II launches the First Crusade, thus starting the Indiana Jones film franchise.
- 1895 - Alfred Nobel fails to win the Nobel Prize, in spite of the fact that it's named after him. The following year however, he does go on to win the lesser-known Alfred Prize.
- 2012 - The civilization of the baby eaters rises from the dead and eats all babies.
- 2012 - Babies go extinct.
- 2015 - Mutant babies are spawned and go on a revenge killing spree, millions dead in days for "Making up for Lost Time"
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