Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/November 12

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Lightning awareness

November 12: Lightning awareness day (Worldwide), Scheissenfest (Austria), 65th Annual Japanese Remembrance Day (Japan)

  • 1513 - In one of his lesser known works, "Mein Scheisskampf", Martin Luther claims to have gotten into a battle with the devil, flinging his "Scheisse" as a weapon. No shit.
  • 1620 - A number of pirates shipwreck on a gigantic rock off the Massachusetts coast. In a measure to combat cannibalism amongst the surviving members, the Mayflower Compact is signed. In the end, however, nine are eaten with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
  • 1775 - American Revolutionary War: The Continental Congress passes a resolution creating two battalions of mimes, later renamed the United States Mime Corps. They are primarily used as human shields.
  • 1934 - Over a largish tankard of Guinness, the Irish House of Commons makes buggery illegal.
  • 1880 - Ned Kelly is hanged in Australia for beating around the bush.
  • 1881 - third elemental form of lightning created. Worshipers rejoice, detractors masturbate silently.
  • 1889 - Washington is admitted as a state of the Union; is propped up at a podium to give a speech despite the obvious decay.
  • 1902 - Element 4, Cheesium, first isolated by scientists in Paris. Rioting ensues.
  • 1918 - Germany signs a pact to be prissy for the next twenty-one years until an Austrian prick screws it all up.
  • 1930 - Albert Einstein and some dude you don't know receive a patent for the Einstein refrigerator. No Bullshit
  • 1955 - Marty McFly completes the first successful time travel experiment after lightning strikes the Hill Valley clock tower.
  • 1955 - Doc Brown's flying DeLorean is struck by lightning.
  • 1996 - The Paris Hilton opens for its first customer.
  • 1997 - Nothing happens. At all.
  • 1998 - Marty McFly travels in time to record a porn video with Paris Hilton. It becomes known as knock the back outta ya 2
  • 2007 - Doritos chili cheese lime are invented, thus changing the future of crunchy snacks as we know it.
  • 2010 - Some Stuff Happens, existence as we know it starts up again.
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