Red war llama

November 11: Red Warmongering Llama Day, First World War Appreciation Day (Commonwealth States)

  • 1914 - Archduke Franz Ferdinand is assassinated in Bosnia. His final words are: "I know I won't be leaving here (with you)." While people are still wondering what the hell he meant, war is declared against France.
  • 1914 - 12:15PM: France surrenders.
  • 1916 - Soviet Russia established, and nothing bad happens to the Russians again. Ever. Instead, the Russians happen to something bad.
  • 1918 - After four bloody years of battle, the first World War finally comes to an end on November 11, 1911 at twelve minutes past eleven o'clock. Wilson takes too long in signing the papers and spoils the symmetry.
  • 1918 - 13:51PM: France claims its total surrender was a tactical ploy to draw the enemy onto their battlefield of choice.
  • 1919 - Armour plated Llamas invade Vienna. They are barbecued inside their armour with flamethrowers and eaten as soup. Cracker sellers are kept busy.
  • 1920 - Llamas in tanks annex Austro-Hungary. They eat all humans they can find in a cheese and white whine sauce.
  • 1922 - In a widely-criticized, conservative move, writer Kurt Vonnegut is born.
  • 1924 - Llamas gain the vote; Emmeline Pankhust is stunned.
  • 1932 - Hitler holds his first country-wide orgy.
  • 1945 - In response to a ravaged Europe following World War II, the Dolly Llama proposes a 'let's all chew on a big tin can' policy.
  • 1946 - The sixth and final part of the WWII saga is released (Episode VI: THE RETURN OF THE BOMBERS) to mixed results by critics.
  • 1975 - The day after the Edmund Fitzgerald sinks with a load of llamas, Gordon Lightfoot releases a ballad by the same name leading to speculation he orchestrated the tragedy.
  • 1983 - Pop sensations Llamarama reach the top of the UK singles charts.
  • 1985 - Austrian rock singer Falco records "Rock Me Amadeus". Llamas find they cannot hum along to it.
  • 1987 - Andre the Giant famously disrupts the 2-minute silence at 11AM in the United Kingdom after needing a dump in Australia. Cannon-ball size lumps of lethal feces explode the toilet, and most of the area around him. Steve Irwin is sent to wrestle Andre down, but loses, and is nearly killed after being thrown from Perth to North America.
  • 1991 The Czech Republic and Slovakia officially split, citing irreconcilable differences.