Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/May 8

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Popeye

May 8: National Bad Hair Day (Estonia)

  • 1359 - Pantaloons invented, could shoes with pointy tips be far behind?
  • 1865 - First nomination of Popeye the Sailorman for sainthood turned down by the Vatican. (pictured)
  • 1914 - Errors in year length calculations resulted in three months of 1913 being lived through all over again.
  • 1919 - Warren G. Harding moistens finger before he fingers a page.
  • 1924 - Holy 26th Crusade to Monterey, California is unsuccesful because of wrong navigation and ends up in Rio de Janeiro.
  • 1945 - V-E Day, victory in Europe. France unconditionally surrenders to US troops, paving the way for the construction of EuroDisney.
  • 1952 - DDT recommended as the next no-calorie sweetner.
  • 1960 - Billy Graham Crusade Catastrophe: "Go into the fields Ruth; the rapers shall not molest you."
  • 1982 - Abolition of the fixed turnip / gold exchange rate endorsed by American government.
  • 1989 - Bay City Rollers: We're still mad for plaid!
  • 2012 - Lightsaber invented. An overwhelming influx of nerd-gasms cause suicide rates to triple worldwide, as auto-erotic asphyxiation takes on a new form.
  • 2042 - The Golem device will be invented to instantly cure over-sexiness.
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