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- 1578 – Martin Frobisher sails from England to Frobisher Bay, Canada. He is stunned to find somewhere he's never been named after himself.
- 1830 – The first cigarettes are introduced and are approved by the Surgeon General as a treatment for pink lung disease.
- 1812 – Great Grease Fire of 1812 occurs as the world mourns for the porn magazines destroyed in the blaze.
- 1884 – John Harvey Kellogg, after seeing a field of corn covered in flakes of snow, patents yogurt enemas and pornflakes. (pictured)
- 1924 – The Soviet Union signs an agreement with the Chinese government, designating Outer Mongolia as One of the funniest place-names in the world.
- 1945 – Babe Ruth, in the heat of the game, kills the umpire, and is given a stern warning.
- 1961 – Scientists release research confirming anchovies are more at home in tomato sauce than water.
- 1974 – Syria and Israel sign an accord to resolve the hostilities over who gets first dibs on Kojak re-runs.
- 2006 – Bono finally finds what he's looking for.
- 2007 – Bono loses what he finally found in 2006 and begins to look for it again.