May 23: Stoat Molesting Night
- 818 - The Force is disturbed for the first time.
- 1783 - Due to a lack of women, American pioneers settle for stoats.
- 1828 - Soap factory accident creates marshmallows.
- 1829 - Marshmallow factory accident creates tupperware.
- 1834 - The Force puts a DO NOT DISTURB sign on her door.
- 1913 - Igor Stravinsky's The Rite Of Spring is first performed in Paris. It is a huge success and nobody riots, not even a little.
- 1936 - Joseph Stalin's tye dye phase ends after only one day due to heavy criticism from peasants. Stalin then orders the death of all peasants.
- 1976 - Syracuse, New York begins the annual Punch an Old Person festival. Results in 128,693 fatalities.
- 1985 - The Force is disturbed by its obnoxious roommate at 3 a.m. The Force becomes pissed.
- 2000 - B.O. level in Otakon reaches intolerable levels, government issues airstrikes.
- 2001 - TimeWarner merges with Canadian Canned WormsTM.
- 2002 - Canadian Canned WormsTM TimeWarner buys Microsoft.
- 2006 - Ask Hal 9000 created.
- 2007 - President George W. Bush accidentally knocks over his ant farm and cries.
- 2011 - You Read May 22nd's "On this Day" section.
- 2012 - May 23rd, 2012 hasn't happened yet.
