Buddha Pacman Thumb

May 2: Leper Kissing Day (Romania), Piss Off Your Boss Day (Moldova)

  • 483 BCE - Gautama Buddha dies, having finally achieved his lifetime best score on Pac-man, only to have his score be beaten one minute later by God.
  • 20 CE - Jesus kisses his first leper.
  • 1390 - Chaucer invents the toaster, or 'ttowfftirre' in the English of his time.
  • 1822 - The English town of Gimbley Gulch is destroyed in an avalanche of discarded Maypoles.
  • 1856 - Carbon-dating shows that fire was actually invented by Google.
  • 1876 - Behind schedule, the April Uprising breaks out in Bulgaria.
  • 1923 - The first test-flight of the jumbo jet is aborted when engineers discover that the jet engine hasn't been invented yet.
  • 1936 - God declares linear progression of time 'boring' and bans it. Confusing nonsense ensues.
  • 1942 - Mick Jagger is born and immediately finds he can't get no satisfaction, oh no no.
  • 1985 - Leg warmers are officially registered 'unfashionable' by United Nations.
  • 1986 - Coke debuts its 'New Coke', in a convoluted and ultimate successful attempt to increase sales of Pepsi.
  • 2000 - Mexico exhausts its supply of refried beans following the trade embargo imposed by the Council for Fresh Air.
  • 2011 - Osama bin Laden is caught by Chuck Norris and sodomized to death. He is disappointed to find 72 Trekkies waiting for him.