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March 30: National Cleavage Day (UK)
- 1599 - Elizabeth I of England establishes 'The Itty Bitty Titty Committee'.
- 1910 - Broadcaster Terry Wogan born under a credenza, is raised in seclusion by Hypnotoad.
- 1996 - KGB begins recruiting fat chicks with thongs as secret agents.
- 1939 - Hitler announces a glorious 1000 year Reich free of saggy tits .
- 1954 - The first Subway sandwich shop in Canada opens in Atlanta.
- 1968 - She wore an itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny, yellow polka-dot bikini.
- 1972 - Columbo sailed the Hudson River. He then arrested Tits McGee.
- 1977 - Harry Potter discovers the Swedish mammoth tit (Potterus gigantatittium)
- 1981 - The animated rock video "Heavy Metal" is released. Holy shit!
- 1990 - Canadian Uncyclopedian gets to second base; parents proud.
- 1996 - Fox News opens comment line at (212) 301-3500.
- 2003 - Pamela Anderson is the grand marshall in the Macy's National Cleavage Day Parade.
- 2006 - Steve Ballmer tells his kids "You don’t use cleavage, and you don’t use UK."
- 2007 - Vention, The National Kiwanis Convention For The New England District meets. Nine months later, every teenage girl in the New England district is still hung-over and going into labor.
- 2008 - Chavette Katie Price reveals her supervillain identity Jordan, who then proceeds to inflate her breasts to engulf London, killing over 25,000.
- 2045 - Feminists attempt to outlaw the production of low-cut shirts. They are then all killed by the mob of women running across town to buy the last few v-neck shirts made.