March 19: Oh my god... I'm like... so freaking Day
high on kittens right now...
1000000 B.C. -The first kitten is discovered by Egyptians. They try burning the kitten to get high but discover that you must sniff the kitten to get high.
1300 - Chinese Explorer Who Flhung Dhung brings back kittens on which the Chinese become instantly addicted to.
1301 - Exactly one year later, the Chinese invent a more refined way of getting kitten into your system, now known by the street name " Heroin", it is really kitten in pure form.
1462 - Holy Roman Emperor Yugo Hugo IV dies because he finds someone elses shoe wedged next to his toilet.
1915 - U.S. President Woodrow Wilson becomes the first American to get high on kittens.
1915 - Pluto is photographed for the first time, discovering the first extra-terrestrial colony of human huffing kittens.
1940 - Nazi scientists invent Fanta, a four-legged mammal that was supposed to huff just like a kitten, in order to overcome the Allied embargo of kittens.
1942 - U.S. implements wartime rationing of kittens and all cats under two years old.
1969 - Keith Richards swears that he has huffed his last kitten.
1972 - After several hallucinogenic tigers, India and Bangladesh sign a friendship treaty.
1978 - Keith Richards swears that he has huffed his last kitten.
2003 - Saddam Hussein is forced to huff goats due to the impending U.S. invasion.
2005 - Police loosed water cannons and tear gas on rioting French students and activists as they rampaged through a McDonald's in Paris. The French were apparently incensed by images of french fries being displayed on drive-thru menus.