March 16: International Toaster Day
- 1066 - Soldiers in the Battle of Hastings from both the Norman and English sides are set upon by wild toasters; less than two hundred survive.
- 1823 - George Washington Carver sets out on an expidition to the California Redwood forests to study toasters.
- 1843 - The first toaster ranch is established in Peyote, Wyoming, with over three dozen domestic toasters.
- 1883 - Oscar Wilde's poem The Sphinx, widely believed to be a veiled reference to toasters, is published.
- 1931 - During construction of the Empire State Building, a fossil of a Tyrannotoasterus is unearthed, sparking interest in the new field of Toasteropaleontology.
- 1950 - National Geographic discovers that the wild toaster is actually a kitchen appliance.
- 1975 - A toaster escaping from a traveling circus in Alabama escapes captivity and mauls four people and dozens of raw bread slices before being killed by local Appliance Control authorities.
- 2011 - A crazed toaster kills 1,000,000,000 people after it rode in on the earthquake/tsunami in japan. It will hit China, canada, and russia.