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June 8: Be Suspicious of Your Friends and Co-Workers (they're trying to kill you) Day
- 1210 - Rain is discovered by Vatican scientists.
- 1213 - The Vatican, under Pope Innocent III, creates purgatory.
- 1312 - King Edward II became the first man to successfully grow a goatee beard.
- 1798 - North Dakota moves to its present location from beside the River Thames.
- 1861 - Tennessee secedes from the Union. Nissan decides it will build its plant there after all.
- 1900 - Hitler's moustache is born.
- 1901 - The Queen of the United Kingdom, Empress of Canada, Grand Sheila of Australia, Most Merciful Pasha of Yorkshire, is expelled from her mother's uterus into the world.
- 1949 - 35 years after starting it, George Orwell finally completes his futuristic novel Nineteen Fourty-Four.
- 1963 - Doctor What changes his name to Doctor Who.
- 1969 - Bill Clinton fails to inhale.
- 1979 - Mel Gibson speaks in enhanced Aussie accent after discovering he was born in Peekskill, New York.
- 1983 - The United States Government collapses then reforms in a period of twelve hours, no one notices because a cute kitten is born on TV.
- 2011 - You read this. Wished you had not bothered.