- 1692 - Poland is reversed.
- 1881 - Sweary Mary utters the word cunt for the first time.
- 1958 - The Rivingtons hit 'The Turd is the Word' makes the top 40.
- 1967 - First instance of the phrase "June the Third" being rhymed with "Turd". What took us so long?
- 1971 - First invasion of the kurds.
- 1977 - Melvin Rogers becomes first person to be arrested for DUI. How'd they know? His speach was slurred.
- 1980 - First all nude production of "Richard the Third"
- 1982 - In Wercestershire, Uruguay, is born William Hurd.
- 1985 - Top of the Pops, The Herndy-gurds with "Little Bird"
- 1990 - First Revenge of the Nerds.
- 1998 - The Rhymes With Turd day is officially abolished, putting an end to the absurd.
- 1999 - Some clever ponce works out that Damien Hurst's last name has an internal rhyme with turd. He is lynched for being a smart-arse.
- 2006 - Man realizes "every word" rhymes with Turd.
- 2007 - Last man standing finally sits down
- 2008 - Man asplodes after talking like Sylvester Stallone for twenty-three hours.
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