- 1493 - Unimpressed by Columbus' attempt to reach the Far East by sailing west, navigator Ernesto de Borgnine attempts to reach the Americas by sailing East. His ship crashes into the Cadiz docks thirty seconds into his journey.
- 1572 - The day the music died.
- 1573 - The day the music was resurrected as a zombie.
- 1619 - Nostradamus predicts that everyone will die someday, including the music.
- 1745 - Sharon Stone begins her first retirement at the age of 57.
- 1851 - Franco-Pakistani War ends in a draw after a sudden death match.
- 1922 - The bloody war between Chile and France ends abruptly when both countries realize that they don't have common borders to fight over.
- 1945 - Everyone too tired from the end of the war to do anything at all.
- 1947 - Obliviousness Awareness Day declared in Chad.
- 1973 - Scholars discover the first gay couple, Adam and Steve, in Israel. In other news, it's the god damn doodly best day ever because Maddox visited Chicago.
- 1980 - Earthquake in the Chinese village of Bu-Chu-Fu, millions die.
- 2009 - One of our greatest Billy Mays passes on to infomercial heaven. You can get Billy Mays and for a limited time only, his charisma for not one or two but three eternities!
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