Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/June 21

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Cellphone

June 21: St. Nokia's Day; Last Day Of Spring

  • 5400 BC - Prehistoric Druids create early pornography out of large stones on the Salisbury plains of England. Unfortunately it only works one day a year, leading to many wars.
  • Hippies celebrate "The Coming of life" a.k.a. summer solstice in the streets.
  • 524 - Godomar, King of the Burgundians, moves his throne to to his Mountain Chablis.
  • 654 - Howard Hughes finds out that there are germs even in airplanes.
  • 1138 - First Ikea opened in Durham by Viking invaders.
  • 1910 - A Japanese kittenhoefer kills Alexander Graham Bell and patents the cell phone. Unfortunately, it weighs four hundred pounds, and has a 300-mile long spool of cable accompanying it.
  • 1912 - Cingular makes its first attempt at raising the bar, then dies.
  • 1914 - The question "What if the hokey pokey IS what it's all about?" is first raised by Mark Twain.
  • 1915 - Supreme Court of the United States rules that Oklahoma cannot deny some of its citizens the right to vote. The Chief Justice then proceeds to insult Woodrow Wilson over his attempts to allow women to have a voice beyond choosing what's for dinner.
  • 1940 - WWII: France surrenders to Germany
  • 1941 - WWII: France surrenders to Germany again, for good measure.
  • 1942 - WWII: France celebrates the anniversary of their surrender to Germany and the establishment of the Vichy government with parades, parties, and a third surrender to make sure the message was received.
  • 1964 - The KKK appreciates the civil rights movement by murdering three of its members.
  • 1982 - John Hinckley is found not guilty by reason of batshit insanity for trying to kill President Reagan; Hinckley dedicates his win to .
  • 1989 - Ving Rhames turns 30; Lybia explodes.
  • 1991 - The Republican Party get it wrong again. This time, nobody really cares.
  • 1994 - Figures released by the University of Cambridge showed that 92% of those born under the star sign Cancer actually obtained cancer, whereas 12% turned into crabs.
  • 1995 - Figures released by Harvard University showed that 93% of Cambridge students are unable to properly add percentages.
  • 1996 - Figures released by Cambridge say "Bite me, Harvard". Harvard declines comment.
  • 1997 - Harvard purchases Cambridge and changes it to automotive maintenance and bar tending school.
  • 1998 - The Republican Party loses their old leader, gains new one.
  • 2002 - The WHO finally cures polio. They go on to do an encore with "Magic Bus" and "Pinball Wizard".
  • 2006 - The Republican Party might be on to a winner this year.
  • 2006 - Scientists find that Pluto has two moons.
  • 2007 - Scientists find that Pluto is not a planet.
  • 2008 - Scientists find that Pluto never existed in the first place.
  • 2009 - Pluto sues science for defamation of existence
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