- 0 - The snake convinces Eve to eat the apple. "You will not 'die' (wink, wink)" he said to Eve, giggling.
- 1891 - A horse walks into a bar for first time.
- 1898 - A chicken "crosses the road" for the first time, but the event goes unnoticed by the media except for the news truck that ran it over.
- 1954 - A priest, rabbi and a minister walk into a bar, event also unnoticed by media due to lame double entendre jokes that follow.
- 1955 - Martin McFly goes "back to the future" where things are "heavy" and Oedipal projection problems develop, requiring playing of Johnny B Goode before it is written.
- 1956 - The word "whoa" is uttered the first time in history by a man seeing the worlds most beautiful woman completely naked being eaten by a giant robot octopus skateboarding out of a burning helicopter.
- 1959 - The world is "taken over" by a tin of sardines.
- 1967 - Thurgood Marshall "joins" the Supremes. The newly augmented group shortly releases their next album, For Great Justice.
- 1973 - The double entendre day is "celebrated" for first time.
- 1974 - A blonde agrees to a double entendre on the condition that all participants use protection.
- 1979 - George Lucas "releases" his biggest movie.
- 1981 - Quotation marks become "compulsory" to denote double entendres. Everybody "agrees" to this new law. Some "people" oppose the "abuse" of the "quotation" mark, obtaining a null "support" from the media (wink, wink, double wink).
- 1982 - Magic Johnson "roots" Yao Ming, gets AIDS
- 1983 - Pioneer 10 becomes the first "man-"made" object" to "pass the orbit" of Pluto. Uncyclopedian avoids easy Uranus joke.
- 1985 - Martin McFly comes "back from the future". Girlfriend "likes his truck" and McFly "gets his truck waxed".
- 1992 - Magic Johnson "roots" Yao Ming, gets AIDS
- 1993 - The most important person in the universe was born.
- 1997 - A woman enters into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. And the barman "gives her one".
- 2000 - World's first self-reflexive "double entendre" is created.
- 2000 - George W. Bush makes one of his hundreds of speeches to "help" America (wink, wink nudge, nudge).
- 2001 - World's worst double entendre "is" created
- 2004 - A woman pulls in to a gas station and asks the attendant to fill her up. Attendant sells her some petrol. Opportunity for double entendre is missed, attendant is lynched.
- 2005 - Captain Crunch "promoted" to Admiral for "services" to the nation.
- 2006 - Someone "tries really hard" to "cram in", "as many" double entendres as is "humanly possible" "to do in one" sentence "without stopping" "making sense", but "falls at the last post", (*wink, wink*).
- 2007 - A woman walks in to a bar, but faints before the barman can make a double entendre. Woman is taken to hospital. Doctor tries desperately to save the double entendre that could have been, but sadly fails and the woman dies.
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