Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 9

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July 9: International "Hug a Zombie" Day (frighteningly pictured on right)

• 3000 B.C. - Egyptians introduce Hug a Zombie Day when depressed, long-buried Egyptian soldiers rise from the grave and demand love.
• 31 - Jesus raises Lazarus from dead and proceeds to hug him, re-instating the Hug a Zombie Holiday, which had not been celebrated since the Great Zombie Rising of 455 BC.
• 1984 - Margaret Thatcher becomes the first zombie ever to hold public office in Britain.
• 1985 - A new age for Zombiekind is ushered in as a number of prominent zombies appear in a music video tribute to a decaying career. Unfortunatly due to copyright laws we are unable to name the artist.
• 1993 - U.S. President Bill Clinton celebrates Hug a Zombie Day by allowing a zombie to read from Oscar Wilde's collection A House of Pomegranates during his weekly radio address.
• 1998 - Several Brooklyn residents are bitten by zombies that they tried to hug. Roughly two weeks later, they cause what is now known as The "Racoon City Incident".
• 2013 - Hug a Zombie Day is re-instated after a ten-year zombie shortage. Unfortunately, the world ended in 2012, leaving only zombies behind, who are forced to hug each other.