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July 6: Man Milk Day
- 2300 BC - Chinese religious officers declared that drinking milk is a sin.
- 1609 - Bohemia is granted freedom of religion. The Bohemians snap their fingers in approval.
- 1732 - The 'Running of the Bulls' Festival in Pamploma, originally, 'The Drowning of the Animals' Festival, undergoes Major overhaul. PETA established.
- 1946 - George W. Bush born; record numbers of brain death recorded in America.
- 1977 - Idiot deems day "Man Milk Day" and proceeds to schedule lame events (Editor advises they read the article "How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid")
- 1978 - Margaret Thatcher blesses the first man to be milked.
- 1986 - Mike Portnoy founded the band Dream Theater
- 1988 - Shemales riot near Rio de Janeiro to obtain the rights for selling their milk to earn a living.
- 1996 - Mike Portnoy travels back in time to found the band Dream Theater
- 2004 - Man Milk is found to be an excellent source of energy for athletes. Naturally, using it in this fashion is outlawed by the U.N. under pressure by the Gatorade overlords of the universe.
- 2006 - San Seattle Riot kills 6 Caloringtons